The Long Haul Part 2

I've been equally blessed to have very few but trustworthy and loyal friends in PF. I'm happy and contented (well except for some) with the way things have been working, and for the past week, I haven't had much of a headache except when the air from the airconditioning is kinda hot, and when I get slight migraines from creating colorful presentations. The colors on a Mac screen are so vivid, it makes me blink more often.

I had fun drinking with a rather 'interesting' mix since most of them have not really gone drinking with the other members of the group - Grace, Liz, Myron, Dom, Brian, Jov and Francis G. It was a fun-filled night after a couple of rounds of Gilbey's Premium and Red Horse. I went home slightly buzzed (I have never been super drunk, wait till you see it) but still 'composed' nonetheless. At least I did not end up talking about stuff that I'm not supposed to spill. Weeee! I think I should go out more often...

Since it's already past the second quarter of the year and in three month's time I'd be 25 (I cannot believe I am already 25 when I have the mind of a 17-year old at times), I'd like to reminisce some thoughts that have been bugging me for the past 2 weeks or so.

1. I remember wanting to have a kid by the time I'm 28, and I'm afraid it might happen... sooner. :)

2. There was a time I thought I'd die to see my then bf get married. The only thing I missed out was, I'd die LAUGHING when he actually did.

3. I placed an age limit on dating men. Three years ago, I refuse to go out with someone who's more than 10 years my senior. Now, I don't really mind as long as he's hot as Tom Cruise is to Katie Holmes.

4. I was NEVER the SILENT type in my previous relationships. Either I'm silent because I'm sleepy, or I'm silent because I'm drunk. My boyfriend now would agree if I say I'm less talkative when it's only the two of us talking.

5. I grew up to believe that princesses meet their prince when they strive to be Ms. Priss~doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't curse. When I started working on developing my giggly and 'normal' self, I met someone whom I call 'the greatest love of my 24-year existence'. I wouldn't say our relationship is fuss free like legs treated with Laserlight (the procedure you undergo to make you hairless forever), but it's definitely a fresh Brazilian wax~no nicks, no stubbles, no chicken skin...It is not the most perfect relationship, but it is definitely something I'd be willing to work on for the rest of my life.

6. Have faith in people, especially with the ones you love. Don't expect a perfect situation but have faith that they will never fail to amaze and amuse you at the same time~not because they have to, but because they love you.. I just didn't expect what B did today, and I am happy I never coerced him into doing such. It just came naturally, and we're both happy with people's reaction.

7. Have faith in your friends, even if they tell you to go the other way. True friends won't judge you for what you do. They will always be your friend who will listen to whatever crap you tell them, but they also have the grit to snap the hell out of you when you need it the most.

8. Respect and trust are not earned by just donning a long-sleeved suit. People trust you because they know you are someone worthy of it. Don't push people to give you their trust, they'll just clam up and resent you for being such a sneaky 'patata'.

9. Realize that there are some people who will never be your friend no matter how hard you try. They would only be a mere acquaintance who will grace your FB, friendster, or yeah, office and party pics. Just another face who will eventually vanish once you have your beer belly when you're 50.

10. You can love as many men as you like/want/need. But remember that there can only be one who will touch your life, not just your face, your body or your heart. That person would always be one step ahead of the others. When you meet that person, hold on, have faith and pray...because there is a great picture that you have to paint, lessons to learn... and maybe, just maybe... an entire lifetime to share.

***

I was thinking of writing a story entitled, 'How Can Karma be so Digital?'.

I should start writing soon and have FAITH that if my shit gets published, people will appreciate my no-BS humor that hopefully can send more people rolling in the streets after having a round or two.

Or maybe, I could start writing my MMK story...

Or how B and I met...(cheesy!)

Or how evil my evil twin sis is (kidding... peace evil twin sis!)

Or how I enjoy, in my own little way, the conversations I have with friends over lunch or merienda

There are just a lot of stuff running in my head right now, I wonder if they ever get tired. :P

***

I better catch up on Zzzzzssss... I might be a couch patata tomorrow. :P

The B-randy Night

What should a girl go on a Monday night?

Working from home sure has its benefits but for a workaholic like me, I think it backfired. I am so attached to the computer I can barely prevent myself from not looking at those lovely trackers. Numbers to me are like notes to a song - you can never be wrong with them when drafting your analysis. Numbers provide educated strategies and numbers can also provide depth to a seemingly 'useless' work. My brain switch continues to bank on ideas while my poor body is not yet done with at least 10% of what the brain wants to accomplish.

With Lady Gaga's album, a Logitech headset (which has a nice bass by the way) and the privacy of my own home, I can, oh well, sing my heart out! Poker Face, Love Game, Just Dance and Starstruck are the only songs in my WFH playlist! :) Weee!

Now that I'm officially done with work, I decided to taste some of Dad's Fundador. It tastes good with a little lemon. I am looking forward to partying this Friday (please???) like partying, dancing, clubbing~the works! I may not be the best dancer but I sure want to unwind to the tune of the blasting club music in the background...

I miss Joie (my clubbing mate), I miss clubbing. I miss partying in Greenbelt and Malate and just dancing with a random stranger. And it's just been 4 months that I've been trying really hard to be a 'good' girlfriend. I'm a far cry from my college self, and at times I miss it. It was the best 4 years of my life and I MISS IT! It was a time when I wasn't thinking of bills to pay, work to do and building a 'career'. That time it was all about enjoying life, eating, drinking and smoking cigarettes under the CMC skywalk, the Sunken Garden... and every building imaginable. It was about having Migs pay for my ChocKiss dinner and all about pissing him off by tapping the ash in his newly vacuumed car interiors. It was all about searching every dark parking imaginable for the 'top make out spot'. Mwahahahaha! It was all about building dreams that someday I'd be a mom to fraternal twins and I'd prepare my hubby's dinner every single night.

Three years shortly after graduation, I'm getting a shot of brandy on the eve of my last WFH day. No fraternal twins, no hubby. Not even a 'decent' bf. But I think at this point, I already fell for what I deemed as the greatest love of my 24-year existence. The others, well, they already married the greatest love of their -year existence. Don't get me wrong I love B to shreds, but sometimes, I just miss enjoying my youth and going out openly with a non-chalant may-not-care guy who's not so keen about PDA---no not the make-out PDA (you perv!) but the HHWWPSSP (holding hands while walking pa sway sway pa) type. B and I can go out, yes.. but PDA for him is a totally different story. (And that's a separate blog entry altogether..)

With everyone, and I mean everyone in my college friends list getting married/got married/is getting married because they got pregnant/is getting married because they found their (frog) prince...I FEEL SO PREYSHURED. And I say this with a Janina San Miguel conviction. I DON'T FEEL EYNI PREYSHURE. AT ALL. Yeah right.

After 4 scotch glasses of this Fundador thing and not a 'tama' to boot, I am hoping that things will turn out for the best. After all, the past two weeks was a deja vu of a long weekend dream I had last April.

***

How long has it been? I feel that it has been ages. Yes, I guess it has been ages. Thinking alone and thinking about your problems make you feel old. And thinking about what you want to do with your life make you feel so juvenile. As much as I'd like to map my 3-year plan, it still doesn't include fraternal twins or a doting husband...

I am still hoping someone would eventually clean his shit so that he can cook breakfast for the princess every single day of his life. And she'd be more than happy to oblige to cook him dinner for the rest of her life~even if that means she won't go clubbing anymore, or kissing random strangers, or even sitting in some cute guy's lap. for. the. rest. of. her. life. She'd only bask in his glory, his muscular and pasty thighs. After all, he's the greatest love of her 24-year existence.

***

That tops the 5th glass. Time to snooze.

The Long Haul

I haven't been blogging for quite some time now. I have been very busy with work, new found friends, with B (weee) and with small stuff that make me happy.

Things at work have proved to be very promising and very challenging. I'm happy to be in a small but well-managed team, kudos to my boss and his very good people skills. I am not saying this to get merit, but John really is a great boss. (FYI. He doesn't read nor know my multiply so I don't get credit for giving such praise. I am not a kiss-ass.) He's very generous with compliments and I like his work ethics. Leonard has been a very good workmate and confidante at the same time, so in general, work is really good (the pressure, the deadlines and the truckload of work is not an issue.) Go Marketing!

B has been very busy with his work as well but I am hoping that we'd have more quality time with each other once all the hula-baloos are over. We manage to have short dates once in a while, but I am craving for the long 8-hour dates that we used to have. He always keeps me in the loop and for now, that's the only 'pressure' I can contain. I love to be busy with a little over 10 minutes left post-shower before I doze off to dream land. I hope to have couple massages in a few weeks...

I am excited about a lot of stuff, which includes my Guimaras trip. Kat, Grace, Marga, Allan and I (Jherome, kindly inform us if you've finalized your flight) are going to Guimaras on my birthday. Weee! :) You can bring your lovelives during the trip but I'm not bringing mine. :P Bawal ang cheesy! :P Bawal magdala ng hindi gusto ng mga kasama sa trip. Erm. Ihuhulog ko yun sa plane ride pa lang... Joke! (Jokes are half-meant.)

Another thing would be the launch of the Sony Satio (which I hope won't reach 40k), the counterpart of the iPhone. Either way, I know I am getting a new phone to replace my Nokia (the Sun signal work best with my SE phone, thus the switch). I am itching to go back to school and get certificate courses probably in culinary because I love eating. I have been constantly dropping weight (a good 2 lbs a week since the 16lb drop) for two reasons - I only eat two meals a day and I don't eat after 6pm. At times I cheat with the 6pm, but for most of the time, I only eat twice a day. I don't eat as much pork as well, which makes the weight loss even more promising.

I'm excited for Christmas: the Christmas vacay, bonus, gifts, parties and family get-togethers. Other than that, December is a normal work month.

I've been very blessed to have few but genuine and sane friends (who can keep up with my insanity) and as equally blessed to have a few people around who have the capacity to make my blood surge on a periodic basis. That way, I am keeping my patience and anger management level in check regularly.

I am so lazy to blog about what happened during the month and a half saga. All I know is that I know who my friends are, I know who are those people who pretend to be friends with me, and most importantly, I know who the sneakies are. So if you're guilty... well, you shouldn't be reading this blog. Hahahaha!

Mental Breaks

Sometimes it's hard to be tough.You get pushed too hard and you feel that you are being shoved against the wall. It's frustrating that just when you badly need help, help is nowhere to be found (Lord, please give me a miracle!) And everyone around you still thinks you're alright...

I guess this is the second most terrible week of my entire life~ the 'ex' got married over the weekend (which made me realize that I am turning 25 this year), I am running a fever with expensive medicines (which would be reimbursed this Friday, hopefully), I have to get my dress for this weekend's wedding altered (I'm happy I'm one size smaller, but it was a stupid idea for me to stick to the sizing, nonetheless) and I'm running out of moolah. Enrollment time... (It's not just the tuition, it's the supplies, the uniform, heck.)

And then you get this "kulang pa" line. Punyeta. Kulang pa pala. I am sacrificing not just my 'gimik' money, but the money which should have been alloted for MY Master's Degree. I am sacrificing my budget for clothes, shoes and make-up. In fact, I've been sacrificing my 'social life' for one heck of almost a year just to send the sibling to school which, by the way, is NOT and will NEVER be, my responsibility. I didn't get married because I don't want to be responsible for another person, but this situation left me with NO CHOICE. And then you tell me, kulang pa.

Whenever I have to make ends meet way back in college, instead of complaining, I had to take a part-time job. That was fun, but it took a lot of discipline on my part. In fact, since I started working, I never went on an out of town trip just to lounge and burn moolah. Tell me why, why, why, does this have to happen to me when I could have just spent all those money on booze, clothes and gadgets?

I feel B's sentiment when he wakes up in the morning and he has to prepare his own breakfast when someone could have done it for him. I feel the same way when I go home to find out that 'everyone thought I had dinner outside'. Geez.

Sometimes it just blows up in your face like a bubblegum. Or it hits your toe like an ingrown toenail. You know it's there but it's just fucking painful to go through the process alone, needless to say, the repercussions after the 'ordeal'. (How did I come up with an ingrown as an analogy...tsk, tsk)

Sighs.

On a lighter note, B gave my mom some pastries last Sunday because I was Mother's Day. Sweet! Hugs* Hugs* And he even made beso. (Kamusta, meet the parents ito neh!) My mom thought he was sweet (He really is, in fact, he greeted me Happy Mother's Day too, I almost strangled him! Scary shit. Not yet. Not now. Teehee.)

And here's one of the best things:

A free chocolate glazed donut and small coffee from Krispy Kreme valid until the 30th of the month. Food again (while I try to lose weight).

I miss B. I miss our dates. I miss our long conversations. I have faith, that it won't be long until I see him every single day of my life.

Sounds corny but lately I call him BB Q - text lingo for BeBe Ko. I know it's corny, you can strangle me for the corniness... Hahahahah...

For now, I'd enjoy a warm bowl of sinigang and go to sleep before 8:00 PM ~ A first during the past 3 years. Ciao.

A Long Week

Since it's my first week after a two-week rest, here are some snapshots of the week that was.

Tuesday, I had lunch with an officemate at Java Man. I had crispy sardines. Teehee!

Crispy Sardines Pasta at Java Man

That same day, I got an Ice Monster treat too...

And of course... the week won't end without me seeing B. Here's a snapshot of the food during our date...

Chai Latte from CBTL

Nachos from Don Henrico's

Italian Sausage Calzone

***

I got this question from a lot of people asking how B looks like. Believe me guys, he's a man. The reason why we don't post our photos together is because... we prefer to keep our relationship private. I know that he's not posting pictures of me as well, so to be fair to him, I chose not to post his pictures.

I hope that in time, we'd be able to show everyone our pictures... but for now... let's keep the blogging simple.

Just to give you the right information:

1. B and V are not one and the same. I don't have a B and V problem. B is the first letter of Baby, my pet name for B.

2. B is not a guy from the office.

3. B is not my bestfriend Tom.

4. B is not a girl, a disfigured guy or an 'ugly duckling'.

5. B is a real man, not an imaginary friend.

B and I love each other. I guess for now, that's what's important.

Thank you for your interest everyone! :)

***

Sometimes, when you and your guy are so tired from your jobs, you don't want to talk about all the issues with your lives anymore. All you want to do have coffee and relax~ exactly what B and I tried to do last Thursday. Although we saw each other earlier during the week *wink *wink, we just figured out that we should have one 'day off' during the entire week.

As always, it was a lovely evening, and I'm glad things are resolved because we always choose to talk about it. Having this relationship requires a great level of maturity on my part (I used to be the dominatrix...) but I learned how to give us individual spaces. It's amazing that we don't text or call each other as much during the day, but our conversations have variety because we can talk about our 'issues', 'reflections' and most importantly, 'sweet nothings' about anything and everything under the sun.

I guess when people are deeply in love, sometimes they don't need words to put the message across. Sometimes silence breaks all the barriers. Sometimes silence gives the other person the much needed pat on the back assuring that things are going to be alright.

Prayer is also another fundamental part of the relationship. I'm glad my relationship with B brings me closer to God more and more each day. I've begun to be more giving~with myself, family, co-workers (I think...) and friends. I value each opportunity more than how I did before.

The two week break was a breather, but what really helped me and my relationship with B was the time spent apart. It made us miss the other person more, and made us appreciate what's there and not look for what's missing.

One thing I learned this week was not to be stubborn to get the bigger size especially if B said so. Hahahaha. :P

This reminds me that I have to wake B up in time for his OT job tonight.

Kisses everyone!

Being Missed.

It feels good being missed---you have that feeling of being important in that person's life. It feels good being missed by the person you love, but it feels a lot better when a lot of people tell you they miss your presence and how you would make them laugh.

A co-worker told me some people miss me. (Yeah I know, my loud voice, my loud laugh, my weird and funny comments...)

I miss ME too. I miss the carefree Florence, the passionate Florence who spends like close to 200 bucks every week to give chocolates to everyone in her class, and how she'd have the 'juicy question' game so that everyone would spill out their secrets. :P

I recall that I was the victim of my own game a couple of times...

There was this really pesky trainee who was 'forced' to tell the whole class who his crush because I purposely picked his name from the 'trainee list'. I know it was a wrong thing to do (geesh, it's cheating) but... he is the only one in class who is not able to answer a juicy question. So since I was the trainer and for the purpose of fairness, I had him answer the 'juicy' question which read:

Who is your crush in class? Describe him/her and give him/her a short message.

Florence: So, L _ _ _ _, can you describe your crush and give her a short message?

L: Sure. She's nice, she's smart and she's cute. I like the way she dresses especially when she wore that short skirt last Tuesday. (Everyone was giggling since I'm the only female in the room who wore a skirt to class!) Florence, you're my crush and even if you fail me in ACE training, after 6 months, I'd apply again and sit in your class. Would you go out with the whole class later?

Geesh. I thought someone asked me to marry him! My face was all red and all I said was...

"I'd go out with the entire class later if everyone passes"

Then I sent them on a break.

I miss ME. I miss going on with my trainees after class on Friday. I miss smiling at my trainees who would always volunteer to bring the headsets to the Facilities room even if I always decline their offer. I miss wearing heels and running around the site looking for an IT guy to have my ACE and GEM issues fixed. I miss the joy I get when everyone in the class passes and everyone is off for a non EOP drinking session. I find it hilarious whenever I remember my trainees trying to converse with me in English even outside the office premises and how their grammar would transform into Tarzan-English whenever they'd have more than two bottles of SMB.

I miss the look on their faces when they'd hear me order Red Horse and then the boys would be more than happy to open the bottle for me and hand me over another pack of Menthols.

That was my life almost a year ago. I miss it, it hurts at times when I would see my old trainees and they would remind me of how our classes went even if I don't even remember their names. I would miss them when they'd remind me who my 'love team' was in that particular class (I'd get a new love team every week, believe me. Some weird ones, the others... well, they were flirty as hell that I'd give them a hard time in class most of the time.)

But that was 'a long time ago'. I have a new chapter, a PF chapter.

I'd have to say a week is long enough to miss PF folks, so 2 weeks makes it all the more. I can't wait to drink on payday; I miss that. Teehee.

I have to get my mind off B for the meantime. I want to be able to miss him at the end of the day. Right now I know he's dog tired.. 'cause he's been running on my mind the entire day! (I know, I know, it's a corny joke) Besides, he's working, I'm working, we're both working.

I miss my PINK folder and my PINK box. I'm gonna get it back.

Love, Love.

As what Yen mentioned... Almi's mantra was to "risk all and regret nothing". I guess that's going to be my mantra for as long as this heart beats...

I'm turning 25 this year (Yay)... ang finish line! (?)

***
I love my pink steno notebook and my Leone 'el cheapo' ballpen that writes so well, it's a good buy for Php 13.00! The ink is uber black, you'll love how it glides well on your white paper.

***

B, you know I love you. I'll love you wherever this heart would take me...Thanks for making life more meaningful and for loving me unconditionally even if I am a demanding and total bitch. (Hahaha)

Practice what you Preach

It's ironic how people would go to church and claim they already forget, but talk about it everyday.

It's ironic how people serve in the church and hurt other people and their own family every single day.

I'm so tired of this prideful and freaking shit.

I wonder why peace comes so expensive these days.