Busy September

I took at leave last Friday to do some errands so I ended up really tired on Saturday and ended up not doing some of my scheduled tasks. I am thinking of plotting two leaves this month but there's just so much to do at work.

I have some pending tasks on my list and I am thinking of doing some of it tomorrow once I'm done having the letter received and signed by the client. Of course, I have to follow up on the collections and also finish my liquidation so I have a budget for the gifts to the people that I have been talking to. Geez.

I forgot that my bestfriend will be spending his entire week in Alabang which means that should I want to do anything during the week, I only have myself to rely on or I should go straight home and sleep. There's just so many things to do with so little money (yeah for the wants) and so little time. My birthday's in a few more weeks and I still haven't figured out what I'm gonna do. I gotta file my leave on my birthday 'coz I need to pick up my grandmother from the airport. Then I have to prepare some food at home since my aunt is gonna go there straight with my granny.

There's a project that I am itching to start but don't have the time, nor the motivation to finish. Deadly combination.

I think I just needed some time off to really consider what I want to do for the rest of the year. Sometimes some opportunities may be the best deals, but depending on your priorities, then you can then decide if they're worth pursuing at this time.

I can't wait for the next couple of minutes to chat with the boyfriend. Must take a bath early enough for this afternoon's mass.

Crossroads

I just finished browsing the September copy of Cosmo. While the magazine brings me so much joy and something to look forward to every single month, I can't help but keep my mind on what I want to do.

A month ago, I was faced with an opportunity to grow. It was something I had to refuse given the circumstance that it may not last long. However, the same opportunity has been knocking on my door, with yet a better deal.

So how do I choose between something that I have grown accustomed to for the past couple of months and is starting to excite me, over something that's new but would maximise the skills and expertise that I have acquired over the years?

Should I stick with something that would bring me a lot of experience, or try something new and work hard to make it happen?

Suren

This is the first time I've written about him - with a name that is... Surendra.

I met Suren at that time of my life when I didn't believe in forever... and happy endings. Back then, relationships are just as good as a full meal - you'd get full but eating the same thing over and over makes you puke and hate it. That was how it was with my previous relationships... "it was good while it lasted". The last one being, (not that I count it) left a bitter taste in my mouth. Such a freaking waste of time.

I was out of job, unpaid of my five month's worth of salary, penniless, in debt, frustrated and pretty much an angry person - when I met a wonderful person who has changed my life forever. He was the patient ear behind every rant, every whine, every bit of frustration to the job interviews that never paid, and the job offers that never came (at that time). He was indeed a beautiful person with a heart of gold and bit by bit, as time went by, I found myself confiding in him every bit of how I truly feel - sans the "positive scripting".

He was witness to the worst in me - my temper, my sudden mood changes and every sheer of impatience I have left in my body. And yet despite my weaknesses, my ugly and morbid side, he has grown to love EVERYTHING about me - from a distance.

Until the night of June 8, 2010 came and he told me about his intentions. It did not come as a shock, but rather a sense of relief that yes, despite my imperfections, someone would take that risk (his first at that) to make me feel like a queen and love me for who I truly am.

It's been more than a year, and a roller coaster ride as well but it just feels like yesterday when finally I found solace in someone whose generosity and pureness of heart I could never imagine.

Finally, it feels good to find HOME.

27 days before the 27th!

I have waited for this day, well, for the title post, that is. Stuck in my office chair with one editing job to do, I am taking a break from work.

27 days before the 27th, I realized the following things:

1. You don't need a lot of friends. You just need a few real ones.

2. Real friends would let you be yourself, but they would also knock your brains if you are about to do something really bad.

3. A job is just a job. Value time for family, friends and hobbies to keep you grounded.

4. If some people happen to be your workmates, it doesn't automatically mean they will be your friends.

5. The best way to get out of trouble is keep your mouth shut.

6. Whatever you say might be taken negatively so take caution.

7. You can gauge a guy's real attitude on how he treats the smallest people in society.

8. Watch out for free loaders - of your time, your wits and most importantly, your sanity.

9. Not all tasks are urgent, not all tasks are important. If it can be done some other day, then it is not an emergency.

10. Expect to be betrayed. With that said, do not put your trust on anyone completely.

11. Do not update your Facebook with something that you can't share to the whole world.

12. Laugh more and frown less. There are a lot of things to be happy about. Besides, anti-ageing creams come expensive nowadays.

13. Dance.

14. Try to get the best quality food available.

15. Get a massage once in a while. Pamper yourself, you deserve it.

16. Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize.

17. Wear sunscreen when going outdoors, and get a bug spray handy.

18. Buy nice underwear - You'd feel good outside if you feel beautiful inside.

19. Don't box your ideas of beauty on how straight your hair is, or how small your waistline is. The true test of beauty is how comfortable you are in your skin.

20. Always keep a pen and notebook handy - make them repositories of your thoughts.

21. If a problem persists, try sleeping on it.

22. A good man will love you - even without the make up.

23. True friends will cherish you even in your ratty pajamas.

24. If hostility persists in your surroundings, time to plug in your earphones.

25. Keep your friends close, and your enemies OUT.

26. Make peace with your past, and face your future with enthusiasm.

27. There is only one God, and if you believe in Him, you will never go wrong.

Love much, hate none. =)

Now lemme get back to work.

When Enough is Enough

I am the type of person who would never give up until I get what I need, or I hear what I want to hear. And so with this type of nature, I normally multiply the emotion ten times over. I am generous with giving chances, especially to people who in a way have gained my trust. But once all efforts have been readily exhausted, I am left with not a single ounce of respect for the person.

Enough is enough. The eight years of "friendship" was a scam. Let's just accept that you're that kind of person and move on.

The point of the matter is, you have been making promises you can't keep, yet you can't have the decency to tell me about what's happening even through chat. I think I deserve to know, as a friend, and as I person, I deserve to know. You can't just walk in and out of other people's lives just like that.

That was the last chance. You blew it. Have a good life.

15 and 33 Days

Sometime around this time last year, exactly half a month from now, I was ecstatic. I was full of vigor wanting to show what I can do - 15 days prior to the great anniversary, I was slowly realizing that too much enthusiasm do not equate to the same amount of fulfillment.

What to write?

There are a lot of things going on in my head right now. Aside from finishing all those To Do Lists, I am asking what do I really want to do in my life. I would like to make an impact to a lot of people's lives, and I guess what I do (and sometimes dream about) every single day is the realization of my dream from two years ago.

I really wanted to be a social worker, work for the UN, marry a doctor and build a sustainable organic farm for a impoverished community. Sounds like Imelda. ;)

Yet Another Test

God put me to a test today - the test of patience. So far, I have been successful in not losing my temper over people who seem to make a living out of putting false accusations and assuming without even asking.

Why can't we have honest and real people nowadays?

I stayed out of your business for a long time. Don't make me do it. Just don't.

That 3-year Habit

Someone has showed up, at least in the "virtual life" yet again. It started in 2005, the second one was in 2008 and three more years later, here we are with the 2011 "visit".

During the course of time, a lot of questions were left unanswered, but the bottom line was "Why" and "Why me?". His reply was this:

Of course I know that and like I've been telling you, I think it's better if I tell you in person or even on the phone what I have to say. Just know one thing though. Even though we lost touch, you were still on my mind. I never forgot about you. I still thought of you and whenever I did think of you, I always thought I was the biggest idiot in the world for not being able to spend time with you. The biggest mistake I made in my life is not making you a part of my life.

Yes, you were an idiot because had I been dead in 2010, I wouldn't know you feel this way! You left me wondering all along within and in between boyfriends/flings. But they say, life is all about chances. This is your nth chance. Put it to good use.

27 in 38 days and I'm back!

This is my blog. I "left" and moved to another one since the last heartbreak. Now I'm back, move on bitch. LOL

Kidding aside, things have been a LOT different since the great (death) escape and as much as I would want to run amuck in a sea of energy-draining people, to God be the glory as I find peace and joy in every little, unimaginable way possible.

It was such a hungry search for peace that somehow I found my way back to Him, and though I fail a lot of times, I know that the Lord will always be with me.

***

I have been in the middle of writing a paper at work, after getting the first (and the only in my almost one-year existence in this cubicle) "Please revise" post it from my boss, when I chanced upon a blog which reminded me of this old piece of my brain.

So here I am writing these woes away as I try to sleep on the piles of papers (LOL) that need to be revised. I have a crazy idea of bringing the office laptop to the weekend getaway tomorrow, but heck, lemme think about it. I might bring home the small laptop instead since this big one is busted anyway.

I want a new pink Vaio.

***

I have the history of not letting any ghost from the past reappear in my future, but well, 8 years later, one of the "ghosts" has reappeared. And the seemingly best part - he's staying here for good.

I love/hate the single life.