The Awakening of a Princess

Busy September

2011-09-11T15:07:00.003+08:00

I took at leave last Friday to do some errands so I ended up really tired on Saturday and ended up not doing some of my scheduled tasks. I am thinking of plotting two leaves this month but there's just so much to do at work.

I have some pending tasks on my list and I am thinking of doing some of it tomorrow once I'm done having the letter received and signed by the client. Of course, I have to follow up on the collections and also finish my liquidation so I have a budget for the gifts to the people that I have been talking to. Geez.

I forgot that my bestfriend will be spending his entire week in Alabang which means that should I want to do anything during the week, I only have myself to rely on or I should go straight home and sleep. There's just so many things to do with so little money (yeah for the wants) and so little time. My birthday's in a few more weeks and I still haven't figured out what I'm gonna do. I gotta file my leave on my birthday 'coz I need to pick up my grandmother from the airport. Then I have to prepare some food at home since my aunt is gonna go there straight with my granny.

There's a project that I am itching to start but don't have the time, nor the motivation to finish. Deadly combination.

I think I just needed some time off to really consider what I want to do for the rest of the year. Sometimes some opportunities may be the best deals, but depending on your priorities, then you can then decide if they're worth pursuing at this time.

I can't wait for the next couple of minutes to chat with the boyfriend. Must take a bath early enough for this afternoon's mass.

Crossroads

2011-09-06T17:49:00.002+08:00

I just finished browsing the September copy of Cosmo. While the magazine brings me so much joy and something to look forward to every single month, I can't help but keep my mind on what I want to do.

A month ago, I was faced with an opportunity to grow. It was something I had to refuse given the circumstance that it may not last long. However, the same opportunity has been knocking on my door, with yet a better deal.

So how do I choose between something that I have grown accustomed to for the past couple of months and is starting to excite me, over something that's new but would maximise the skills and expertise that I have acquired over the years?

Should I stick with something that would bring me a lot of experience, or try something new and work hard to make it happen?

Suren

2011-09-01T01:04:00.003+08:00

This is the first time I've written about him - with a name that is... Surendra.

I met Suren at that time of my life when I didn't believe in forever... and happy endings. Back then, relationships are just as good as a full meal - you'd get full but eating the same thing over and over makes you puke and hate it. That was how it was with my previous relationships... "it was good while it lasted". The last one being, (not that I count it) left a bitter taste in my mouth. Such a freaking waste of time.

I was out of job, unpaid of my five month's worth of salary, penniless, in debt, frustrated and pretty much an angry person - when I met a wonderful person who has changed my life forever. He was the patient ear behind every rant, every whine, every bit of frustration to the job interviews that never paid, and the job offers that never came (at that time). He was indeed a beautiful person with a heart of gold and bit by bit, as time went by, I found myself confiding in him every bit of how I truly feel - sans the "positive scripting".

He was witness to the worst in me - my temper, my sudden mood changes and every sheer of impatience I have left in my body. And yet despite my weaknesses, my ugly and morbid side, he has grown to love EVERYTHING about me - from a distance.

Until the night of June 8, 2010 came and he told me about his intentions. It did not come as a shock, but rather a sense of relief that yes, despite my imperfections, someone would take that risk (his first at that) to make me feel like a queen and love me for who I truly am.

It's been more than a year, and a roller coaster ride as well but it just feels like yesterday when finally I found solace in someone whose generosity and pureness of heart I could never imagine.

Finally, it feels good to find HOME.

27 days before the 27th!

2011-08-31T16:57:00.003+08:00

I have waited for this day, well, for the title post, that is. Stuck in my office chair with one editing job to do, I am taking a break from work.

27 days before the 27th, I realized the following things:

1. You don't need a lot of friends. You just need a few real ones.

2. Real friends would let you be yourself, but they would also knock your brains if you are about to do something really bad.

3. A job is just a job. Value time for family, friends and hobbies to keep you grounded.

4. If some people happen to be your workmates, it doesn't automatically mean they will be your friends.

5. The best way to get out of trouble is keep your mouth shut.

6. Whatever you say might be taken negatively so take caution.

7. You can gauge a guy's real attitude on how he treats the smallest people in society.

8. Watch out for free loaders - of your time, your wits and most importantly, your sanity.

9. Not all tasks are urgent, not all tasks are important. If it can be done some other day, then it is not an emergency.

10. Expect to be betrayed. With that said, do not put your trust on anyone completely.

11. Do not update your Facebook with something that you can't share to the whole world.

12. Laugh more and frown less. There are a lot of things to be happy about. Besides, anti-ageing creams come expensive nowadays.

13. Dance.

14. Try to get the best quality food available.

15. Get a massage once in a while. Pamper yourself, you deserve it.

16. Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize.

17. Wear sunscreen when going outdoors, and get a bug spray handy.

18. Buy nice underwear - You'd feel good outside if you feel beautiful inside.

19. Don't box your ideas of beauty on how straight your hair is, or how small your waistline is. The true test of beauty is how comfortable you are in your skin.

20. Always keep a pen and notebook handy - make them repositories of your thoughts.

21. If a problem persists, try sleeping on it.

22. A good man will love you - even without the make up.

23. True friends will cherish you even in your ratty pajamas.

24. If hostility persists in your surroundings, time to plug in your earphones.

25. Keep your friends close, and your enemies OUT.

26. Make peace with your past, and face your future with enthusiasm.

27. There is only one God, and if you believe in Him, you will never go wrong.

Love much, hate none. =)

Now lemme get back to work.

When Enough is Enough

2011-08-25T11:57:00.003+08:00

I am the type of person who would never give up until I get what I need, or I hear what I want to hear. And so with this type of nature, I normally multiply the emotion ten times over. I am generous with giving chances, especially to people who in a way have gained my trust. But once all efforts have been readily exhausted, I am left with not a single ounce of respect for the person.

Enough is enough. The eight years of "friendship" was a scam. Let's just accept that you're that kind of person and move on.

The point of the matter is, you have been making promises you can't keep, yet you can't have the decency to tell me about what's happening even through chat. I think I deserve to know, as a friend, and as I person, I deserve to know. You can't just walk in and out of other people's lives just like that.

That was the last chance. You blew it. Have a good life.

15 and 33 Days

2011-08-24T19:41:00.005+08:00

Sometime around this time last year, exactly half a month from now, I was ecstatic. I was full of vigor wanting to show what I can do - 15 days prior to the great anniversary, I was slowly realizing that too much enthusiasm do not equate to the same amount of fulfillment.

What to write?

There are a lot of things going on in my head right now. Aside from finishing all those To Do Lists, I am asking what do I really want to do in my life. I would like to make an impact to a lot of people's lives, and I guess what I do (and sometimes dream about) every single day is the realization of my dream from two years ago.

I really wanted to be a social worker, work for the UN, marry a doctor and build a sustainable organic farm for a impoverished community. Sounds like Imelda. ;)

Yet Another Test

2011-08-24T19:27:00.002+08:00

God put me to a test today - the test of patience. So far, I have been successful in not losing my temper over people who seem to make a living out of putting false accusations and assuming without even asking.

Why can't we have honest and real people nowadays?

I stayed out of your business for a long time. Don't make me do it. Just don't.

That 3-year Habit

2011-08-19T17:07:00.003+08:00

Someone has showed up, at least in the "virtual life" yet again. It started in 2005, the second one was in 2008 and three more years later, here we are with the 2011 "visit".

During the course of time, a lot of questions were left unanswered, but the bottom line was "Why" and "Why me?". His reply was this:

Of course I know that and like I've been telling you, I think it's better if I tell you in person or even on the phone what I have to say. Just know one thing though. Even though we lost touch, you were still on my mind. I never forgot about you. I still thought of you and whenever I did think of you, I always thought I was the biggest idiot in the world for not being able to spend time with you. The biggest mistake I made in my life is not making you a part of my life.

Yes, you were an idiot because had I been dead in 2010, I wouldn't know you feel this way! You left me wondering all along within and in between boyfriends/flings. But they say, life is all about chances. This is your nth chance. Put it to good use.

27 in 38 days and I'm back!

2011-08-19T15:43:00.004+08:00

This is my blog. I "left" and moved to another one since the last heartbreak. Now I'm back, move on bitch. LOL

Kidding aside, things have been a LOT different since the great (death) escape and as much as I would want to run amuck in a sea of energy-draining people, to God be the glory as I find peace and joy in every little, unimaginable way possible.

It was such a hungry search for peace that somehow I found my way back to Him, and though I fail a lot of times, I know that the Lord will always be with me.

***

I have been in the middle of writing a paper at work, after getting the first (and the only in my almost one-year existence in this cubicle) "Please revise" post it from my boss, when I chanced upon a blog which reminded me of this old piece of my brain.

So here I am writing these woes away as I try to sleep on the piles of papers (LOL) that need to be revised. I have a crazy idea of bringing the office laptop to the weekend getaway tomorrow, but heck, lemme think about it. I might bring home the small laptop instead since this big one is busted anyway.

I want a new pink Vaio.

***

I have the history of not letting any ghost from the past reappear in my future, but well, 8 years later, one of the "ghosts" has reappeared. And the seemingly best part - he's staying here for good.

I love/hate the single life.

25th year Reflections

2009-10-06T18:06:00.003+08:00

Life is fun with friends who truly care. And a healthy distance, makes you appreciate the big picture more.

When you're down and lonely, the only way to look is UP.

Life has a lot to offer, in fact, the possibilities are endless. You just have to be extra careful of your choices because not everything that feels good are deemed right.

Sleep is a precious thing, and in order for you to get one is for you to be at peace. Mornings are sacred.

Prayer is an important part of one's life.

Family, no matter how dysfunctional it is, is still family.

Silence is precious. Bask in it.

***

I celebrated my silver year with 2 Marlboro menthols, a cup of Duriaccino, and my hotel room key in tow some 10,000 kilometers away from home. I savored the flavor of the tobacco from my partly-wet box. I lighted a stick and sang a "Happy Birthday" to myself. After which, I blew the lighted part with a silver tear.

I wanted my 25th year to be perfect. In fact it is. On my 25th year I came to a lifelong realization of what I should do for the next 5, maybe 20, or maybe 50 years. It was a precious moment. There was a deafening silence, but when I lifted my face to see the road, I knew I was home. I realized that I was never alone. He never abandoned me. Even when I was down and distraught, He was with me all the time. All I had to do was call Him.

I made a phone call to someone very dear to me and He greeted me happy birthday. He was in a middle of the road, some 10,000 kms away from where I was.

" I hope you enjoyed your birthday, Nak."

I let out another silver tear.

" I miss you Dad. I really do. I'll see you soon."

" I miss you too Pets. Wag ka ng masyadong mag-isip, andito lang ako."

" Bye Dad, take care."

" You too."

Looking back more than a week later, I let out another silver tear.

There's one man in the whole wide world whom I really love so much, and he's in a better place now. I've known him for 24 years, 363 days and 3 hours. I'm gonna miss him forever.

I met him at the hospital, and the last time I saw him was in a hospital.

A week after my birthday, I know I'm never gonna see him again.

I miss him so much, his faint smile would immediately drive me to tears. He was the only one I got, and he's gone.

In death we find life, we appreciate life. We appreciate each minute spent with that person because when that time comes when we have to say goodbye, we know we did our best.

I love both men the best way I can. The other one gone, the other one still with me. I will savor every Jr. Champ with a tear because I know I'd never look at those Jr. Champs the same way again. I will forever be thankful for all those morning rides to the office, and those after work pick-ups.

I will forever be grateful for my middle and last name with or without the hyphenated one after it.

Cheers to you Daddy Groovy. I miss you Dad, I'll be home later.

Love from A to B

2009-09-21T10:26:00.002+08:00

I wonder what you're doing right now. I'm sure you must be having that 'heart-to-heart' talk with your mother. I hope you are well. I always hope you are.

I miss you terribly.

I'm working here at my station and am simply hoping that I'd get a message from you today. I know the weekend gave you time to do a lot of thinking, and I hope that you already came to terms with what you really want, what you really need, and what would really make you happy.

I just want to let you know that I love you so much.

I dunno what you meant when you sent me a message last night that goes like this... "Never do anything you can't stand for. Remember: Once it's been done, there's no turning back. Life has no rewind, learn to play it right."

Love is a gift that I freely and willingly give you. I give my heart to you without conditions. I could only hope, that somehow, I'm part of the future that you want for yourself. We can only tell how far we could shape our lives, and you know that I've always wanted for you to be happy whatever that means. You've wasted 10 precious years of your life, don't waste 10 more. Think of the things that would really make you happy, and make you content. Work hard to find your happiness.

I've always thought that my happiness would be finding the perfect person. That 'person' who will love me as I am. Now I realized that it's more of the journey I'm after. It's the 'getting there' part that gives life a lot of meaning.

The past months were very fruitful, and memorable indeed. If I can have another lifetime to spare, I know in my heart, I'd still take the same route to find you. There are things that I cannot replay, things that I can't change. The past is something distant, but I know what I can work on is now and the future.

I always told you I don't care about your past. However terrible that might have been, I can only hope that you learned the lessons. What happened before we met are things that are good to know, but not for me to question. There was a reason why that had to happen to you. I love you for who you are now, for what you were before, and what you might be in the future. I just love. Even if sometimes it hurts. Even if sometimes I feel helpless. Because that's what loving is all about... loving unconditionally, even if sometimes I end up dying everyday, risking everything or leaving nothing for myself.

In silence, I find solace. In prayer, I find comfort. And there are enough reasons and signs that I get from Him everyday that tell me to continue.

I love you B, you know that. I love you so much, I can't even explain why...

If one day I'm gone, you know where to find me... I'll be right there, just waiting for you.

Sunkissed Monday

2009-09-21T09:26:00.003+08:00

Today is the first time I came to work without sunscreen. The sun feels good on raw skin. It's a public holiday here in Manila, but since I'll be on vacation starting Thursday and will be back next week, I have to go the 'extra' mile to make this thing happen.

I've been busy working on this presentation last Saturday and I'm determined to finish this today so my boss and I can work on the revisions tomorrow. I hope all my efforts would eventually pay off. That would be really great.

Grace was right when she told me to have a 'life' and worry less. There's more to life than tears on my pillow every night. B and I are okay, but there are still a lot of things that we have to sort out. I'm grateful of his presence in my life, and I could spend a lifetime thanking God for that.

I watched the MMK special last Saturday... it was a story about a young girl who harbored hate against her grandfather. It changed who she became later in life. She even said, "I was busy growing up, I forgot he was growing old." I remembered Daddy Groovy, my paternal grandfather. I would always hope that I'd get to visit him one time, but now that he has Alzheimer's, I think it's really imperative that I should visit him often even if that means traveling by plane then by land for at least 5 hours. I intend to visit him and my grandmother early next year and that's a must-do in my 2010 list.

When we're so busy with our own lives, living in our own worlds we forget who we really wanted to be when we were kids. I remember before, I just wanted to have a normal, a happy life. Then at 30, I'd get married, have kids, take care of my hubby, and just wait until my kids have their own kids. There'd be traveling in between, and spending time with friends, with family, with my folks, my siblings and their families. Five years before my target age, I am still living a life far from what I dreamed of.

Life is just passing right before my eyes. Like the flames of a torch, I miss the last flicker before I should still gape in awe. I should be enjoying the journey, not the details.

I should get back to work.

Silver Birthday Jitters

2009-09-16T10:17:00.003+08:00

A lot of things happened lately. And those things are not FUNNY. If I were to choose between my burn trauma when I was a kid and this feeling, I'd choose the former. Really. Just when you thought that when you get something, it would make you really happy... You realize, no more than 24-hours later that you are still the same miserable bitch in the planet Florinda.

This is the time of the year when I would remember Joie; and a time when I would always feel that my life has reached a terrible rut. Yeah, it's that time of the year when cakes are no longer amusing, and beers lose their magic. It's that time of the year when I just want 5 days to pass just looking at the waters, and wish that every time the wave reaches the shore, one of my wishes would come true.

Every single year, it becomes harder and harder. Sucks, eh?

Crazy Monday

2009-09-14T01:07:00.000+08:00

After spending the entire weekend just sleeping, watching TV, eating then sleeping again, I fell ill and conditioned myself that if I don't get better on Monday morning, I'd take the week off.

Lo and behold, I woke up at 4:00 am only to find out I have not received a promised text message indicating the time he'd be coming in to work, I'm not sleepy, and I have a missed call from a very unfamiliar number at 2:00 am.

I log in my YM, get a ping from a random friend who was just staying right next to B's condo. Then he suggested that I buy beer and guzzle it up at his place. Goodness. Well of course I refused, and insisted that if he wants to meet up, it better be in a public place and that it would be easy for me to grab a taxi just in case I get freaking drunk (which never happened).

I dunno if there's some sort of curse but why do I have this feeling that a lot of these men would want to meet up at that favorite hang-out place? First it was the doctor who was the friend of a friend, now it's the random friend. Goodness. Can I at least have peace in that area for crying out loud?

I started on the wrong foot. The only thing that can make this right is a nice cup of taho.

Love More, Care Less

2009-09-10T11:10:00.005+08:00

“Kung pwede lang sana I have five more days,five more years,five more lifetimes with him. I may have loved him longer but that doesn't mean I love him any less- Bea Alonzo as Lara in the movie 'And I Love You So'

I chuckled when I heard the line. It was far too cheesy for me.

When I heard it the second time around over dinner, I left my food, stormed my room and cried myself to sleep.

Sometimes we love so much, we care so much. Loving more doesn't equate to caring less, and caring sometimes can be so suffocating. It feels like you've built a high tower of Uno Stackos and your world goes crumbling down if the person you love decides to walk away. All it takes is a single piece and that single piece makes all the difference.

But no matter how you look at it, life goes on. Your life goes on. And once you've hit rock bottom, the only way for you to go is UP, there's no other choice simply because there's nothing down. You've hit the limit and the only thing you can do is work your f*ck!n9 way up.

It's hard planning your entire life ahead, and orchestrating something that someone out there is not really interested in participating in. It's that one missing piece that leaves you, your ego, and yes, your freaking self-worth gone with the wind.

It's been a while since I took a break from those cheesy (yeah right) entries, but right now, I just felt like writing this entry just for the heck of it. After all, this is my blog, my life. When I'm too busy chasing my dreams, I hope not to forget the password (Yikes!).

How about you? Did you care more and loved less, or did you love more and cared less?

I'm still chasing my dreams, chasing my happiness. In the end, it's me who can say if I was truly, and eventfully happy.

Cheers to family, a good life and friends...

Of love, friendships, triumphs, pains and sometimes pains in the ass... (LOL) - Ed, I won't tell anyone you told me about that razor... XOXO

17 more days before my silver year! Woot!

What Do I Want to Do Next Year?

2009-09-07T19:22:00.001+08:00

Someone really important to me asked me that question last Saturday. What do I want to do next year? In terms of work, well, I want to be able to accomplish more, to strategize more, and to see my brainchild projects see the light of day. I've thought about a lot of stuff, and apparently, those things have to go on paper (which reminds me that I have to start jotting down those notes... ).

In terms of my personal life, I want to be able to live on my own AGAIN. The last time I had my 'own' place was in 2006. I want to have the flexibility of being able to juggle graduate school (woot), going to the gym, work and my relationship with B for the next two years. The first three would prevent me from dealing with the 4th, but I'm sure, I'll find a way to figure this out simply because I believe, and I have faith, that B will always be supportive of my growth, no matter how big or small it may be. Thinking about getting married/moving in with someone (even B) still scares me. It's like sharing your entire life and you don't have a choice when to say "Let's have a break" when things go awful. It's like me sharing my ashtray, or half of my bed with someone who may end up hovering on me in the morning, or someone who may have the weirdest morning expression in the universe. It's like letting go of another pillow, simply because the one next to me wants to be hugged and cuddled.In many ways than one, I still think like a kid. The sharing of everything I can tolerate, but the sharing of the cabinet, or the bed, is still an 'issue' to me at this point.

In 19 days I'd be a year older, a year wiser (supposedly). Still, I have in me a 7 year old who just want shoes and bags, and fancy stuff like clips and pencils. I cannot imagine myself having mini-Bs or mini-me's running around the office lobby while waiting for me, or even mini-Bs tugging my dress and would want charm his way for me to carry him. Having a family, needless to say, raising a family sounds fun, but it comes with a lot of responsibility. I know B would be a very good father to our kids and I can't help but daydream at times how he'd look like if all three kids (he wants to have 3, how he would carry all is his problem anyway) would want their 'Dad' to carry them.

Maybe I'll have kids in two years as I planned it, maybe sooner (wink) or maybe a little later. Two years would be ideal as I would have finished my masterplan by then and would be ready to take on a wife/mother role for a family I can call my own.

It's really a blessing I could already talk about topics such as these, and I'm as equally blessed to have wonderful people around me.

I haven't really answered the question what do I want, but definitely it would be something better than what I already have at the moment. I pray that everything I worked hard for would eventually fall into place and that in His time, B and I would get our 'happily ever after' ending.

I'm off to bed now. Nighties!

Bagel Bliss

2009-08-29T11:17:00.002+08:00

Living a life without him was fine. In fact, I have been okay my entire life without being aware of his existence. At some point in my life, I know I've seen him, and I am sure that was time when I didn't know what 'better self' means.

It's ironic we shared the same air, literally gone through the same roads every so often, or might have bumped into each other on a lonely Saturday. I was struggling with finding who I really am, and he was struggling with fixing some points of his life.

His name is something I vividly remember during my childhood, after seeing it from my uncle's favorite magazine.

By some stroke of luck (or destiny if you want to call it that), I knew about his existence. It was far too casual, I didn't even care who he was. Then came the unforgettable meeting, the unforgettable date. He was wearing his nice black rolled up long sleeves. I could smell his signature Bulgari scent in the air. We ate at a classy restaurant in Greenbelt, had a lot of chat, a few smokes and some laughs.

The feeling was something alien to me, something interesting. Then there was another date, then another, then another...

At times we'd eat at a posh restaurant, at times we'd eat at our fastfood favorites. Sometimes we'd gush over a P40 meal, or even splurge over a really nice dessert, or Starbucks pastries.

I can't imagine living my life getting intimated by the rough exterior of a bagel. B is pretty much the same~he's rough on the outside, ruggedly handsome and rough on the edges. But when you get to know the inner part of him, you'd discover that like a bagel that's sweet, smooth and delightful, B is the sweetest, most caring, and most loving person I've ever met.

I'm glad I got over my intimidation of the bagel's roughness, the same way I did with B. It was a truly exciting experience getting to the center of the bagel, the same way B truly makes me happy. And that was just what I was looking for~the right crisp, the right grain, the right texture that goes well with the jam, the butter and the cheese. It was not extravagant, it was very basic... and then a surprise sweet explosive taste. Bagel love and B love is bliss.

Curls and Swirls

2009-08-25T15:30:00.002+08:00

Last night while I was watching a copy of 'WANTED', I have been thinking about a lot of things:

I should try to change my routine and do things that 'normal' people do like watch TV, watch movies and read more 'normal' books.

I wouldn't say I am abnormal (hello? heck, yeah, sometimes). I just don't like watching TV, watching movies and having even a pinch of cinnamon near me (which I know like, by the way). That was before.

Change is good. It's like a breathing fresh air, it's exciting, it's new, and most of all, it heightens one's senses.

I've been watching this TV series from a DVD copy from B and I am liking every bit of it. Maybe by the end of the year, I would consider TV a nice piece of stuff that I can put in my room.

I am in the process of thinking whether or not I should enhance my curls or if I should have it rebonded (again, for the nth time). There's really nothing wrong with having curly hair, I just find it hard to manage in the mornings, that is. I should wear less pink (yes, you heard it right) because I am limited to wearing pink lipstick all the time. I think I look good in blue. The next time I buy clothes I was thinking of getting something green (I don't remember wearing a green blouse to work) or something pastel (like a soft yellow or peach). I am starting to like the color apple green, but I don't intend to replace my entire pink stash with apple green ones (hehehehe).

I haven't been eating pork all the time for one straight week (which makes me feel better) and I was surprised not eating rice for the entire day yesterday. Call it dieting, but honestly, I am getting tired of eating the same food over and over again. I am starting to love tomatoes~the crunchy ones they put in salads. I now love bagels and I can't imagine living the rest of my life without eating a bagel at least once a week. I don't drink too much coffee. It's still my problem since it keeps me perky all day.

I want to start walking around the area where I live because I haven't walked around my neighborhood for the past 10 years (such a hermit, I know). I even know Makati better! I should also try getting a new sport since it's impossible for me to find a good tennis buddy and a tennis court within my area.

I changed my body wash (from the antibacterial one to the moisturizing brand) and literally filled my bathroom with products made from tea tree oil. Weee! I also don't drink a lot of soda like I used to. I literally lived on Coke when I was in college and iced tea when I was working last year! Now I have Gatorade, C2 and Fit & Right. Weeee!

I love B. Bow. :P

Cheers!

2009-08-24T20:41:00.001+08:00

How would you feel if you've cried a bucket only to find out that you were not supposed to because it was not a big deal at all?

That was what happened to me last Sunday. For no apparent reason, I cried a bucket of tears over 3 sheets of paper, 2 of which are absolutely sickening. I was having doubts about the content, and tonight I verified that the assumption I have in my head was true.

How I wish couples would be able to talk about stuff that concerns one of the other, and that they can do so in a civilized and calm manner. I have been very proud of my man, and how we handle issues that are relevant to our relationship. Ours was never perfect. It was flawed right from the start. But with honesty and trust, we were able to go through our hurdles together.

The storm is over.

Here's to the storms, the typhoons, the hurdles, the challenges and the peaceful dwelling.

I will be forever thankful of your love and your friendship. And as we enter our half-year mark, I will always remember that once on the 26th of February, I was home, and that I found home.

Thank you for the sweet melody B.

The Week before the Significant Sixth

2009-08-21T12:19:00.001+08:00

I ended the workweek with a big smile on my face. Teehee!

For the past couple of weeks, I have been going through a lot of changes. I now watch what I eat, and I have lighter meals.

Some things for the past weeks that are worth taking note of:

1. I have been hooked to the Starbucks multi-grain bagel and I have been eating if for breakfast at least four times a week.

2. Cinnamon is the least of my favorites. But after putting cinnamon in my latte, and tasting cinnamon swirls, I think I am liking it bit by bit. :P

3. I drink more water and my beverage preference is not just limited to sodas. I can live with drinking just Coke for one whole day. That was me then. XOXO

4. Chie brought Durian pie. Even if the entire room complained about how awful it smelled, I loved it so much. It's heavenly. Tastes well with brewed coffee. :)

5. I want to keep my food as simple and as uncomplicated as much as possible, and I'm glad B brings out my desire for something new every time.

6. Work is work as usual but something not as toxic as the previous one I got.

Things to do and try to do more often:

1. Watch TV. :)

2. Watch at least one movie every month.

3. Go on a nice one-day date with B at least once a month.

4. Finish the Tru Blood series. LOL.

5. Get a hair trim and a massage at least once a month.

***

I got a nice surprise from B yesterday and it's so lovely! I can't wait for Friday this week. :P

Thursday Tidings

2009-08-13T07:45:00.003+08:00

So here I am sitting in the office at 7:30 in the morning, even if I slept at quarter to two. I cried a bucket of tears with a gazillion of sniffs, and honestly, I feel a lot better.

On my way to work, I thought about the 'witches' in my life and how they never fail to irritate me with their plastic smiles and smug expressions. I use the term to describe perpetually sickening people that you'd lose the will to push your cause simply because you're dealing with no less than a bowl of soup. I can sniff through plastic. The scent is far worse than sniffing vomit from a bathroom in a jam-packed bar. Oh puh-lease. Have you thought of your 'witches' lately? :P

One piece of advice that I learned was, "The more you see, the less you know and the more confused you would really get". So at some point in my life, I stopped caring, stopped snooping and stopped thinking about things that do not deserve a single minute of my existence. Things like who's dating who, who's having lunch with who, who's hitting on who. I have more to think about than something where I don't have a say on; or someone I don't have a f*&@ing business with. I'd rather spend my lovely 5 minutes getting inspiration for my room decoration, or on event briefing layouts. Jeez.

If you thought of something and you keep it to yourself, that is an OPINION. If you thought of something and you tell that to people so they can add fuel to your 'fire', that is BS. Ask me what BS is, and I'd answer you with a straight face --- bull shit. Some people just can't keep their opinions/intrigues to themselves, eh?

I think adults should do that. I think adults should live a life free from minding other people's f*&@ing business. It's sickening, it's so grade school. It's so irritating that you'd want to poke people who were stuck in grade school time warp with a black JUMBO pencil. But then again, being the adult that you are, you think beyond the poking of the black pencil to something more productive like going home early and not working too much.

The only time you can really snoop on what other people are doing with their time is if you have done your friggin' task yourself. If you had all the time in the world to know what's going on with other people's businesses, then probably you are not doing yours. LOL.

What I do to deliver is my business. Whether I delivered or not, that is your business. Otherwise, my vulva and all the other parts of my less than perfect bod is my boy's business. Nyahahaha!

(Lupit mo 'toy!)

Have a great day everyone!

Chasing Dreams

2009-08-12T19:40:00.002+08:00

When I was younger, I'd dream of marrying someone like my dad---someone who looks good, smells nice, takes care of me, and someone who would hug me when I'm too scared to turn off the lights at night.

Now that I'm part of the adult world, sometimes I wish I'd go back to the times when life wasn't so complicated---when I would normally go to either Mom and Dad for help. After a few talks, I'm happy even if the only thing that I get is an octagon two-peso coin.

After relationships gone awry, I stopped dreaming of meeting the prince. 'That all men are frogs', used to be my motto. I planned for my solo retirement, I even planned when would I be buying my own retirement house---somewhere near the beach. When I'm gone, I'd donate half of my property to my siblings, and the rest I will give to charity.

Things changed. And so did I. Occassionally I'd have a dream or two, but that doesn't include getting married before I'm 30, or having kids before I'm 35. What I wanted was a solitary life, or what I thought of would be the 'safest option' for me. It was not even a choice, it was something I would settle for.

When my last ex and I called it quits, I never imagined myself to fall in love really hard. Back then, he was the greatest love of my life and he was the guy I'd love to share the rest of my life with. That was before I decided to pack my bags, leave, and start a new life---without him, without my friends, and without anything.

I thought that was a bold move, especially that I am leaving everything dear to me: the best job since I got out of college, the nice group I had at work, the nice perks I get every payday, and the best state of being. The only thing I hated that time were my breakouts, but other than that, I was living a content life. Someone made me rethink everything that I valued: my job, my dreams, my friends. That someone challenged me to go out of my comfort zone and live my full potential.

Soon after, at my then new job, I had to be tough. I felt like my senses were being hardened, and that you're good as the last report on the table, or the last metric you turned in. I was never the crowd favorite, I was a true-blooded Machiavellian who didn't care about the means; I only cared about the end.

I had a handful of friends, those who stuck with me when all there's left is sanity and my mineral make-up, but then I welcomed and embraced change and just went on like what I originally planned.

The path I'm at right now is not that easy. It was harder because I challenge and question myself every single day. Is this something that would make me happy? Is this something that I'd be proud even if some Lady Gaga would tell me she's do some perky song for a living? I'm learning a lot everyday, and I feel the love that surrounds me. Party poopers be damned.

As long as I'm okay with the people I care about, party poopers, can, well, go to *toot*. There are a handful of people who know me inside out, and there are some I call really good friends. But in the real world, there are as much witches as there are to bitches.

I'm a happy soul.

I have a lot of dreams, and I am still chasing them.

Someday, I'd get to tell the world how happy it is to be loved by you B.

I think the whole world knows, they're just not aware they do.

I'd be chasing dreams tomorrow.

But for now, I'd chase some sleep. Nyties!

It's a Yummy Life

2009-08-01T20:03:00.001+08:00

The past one and a half months was indeed a busy one, but of course, that wouldn't prevent me from enjoying all the good food in and out of the metro. Yum!

The Kitchen - Greenbelt 3

The first time I tried this resto, I was with B. Then we started bringing friends along to this really nice place. All the food that we've tried so far were really yummy and reasonably priced. Their mint iced tea was tops! :)

Achl's Indulgence - Spanish Sardines in olive oil

Under the Sun - Chili Cream Seafood Pasta

On Barbie's Cue - meat and seafood kebab with pandan rice

Sheepish Grin (Top) - Lamb chops with veggie sidings and sweet gravy

Sirloin Swirloin (Bottom) - Pork sirloin with veggie sidings and sweet&sour gravy

Salmon Says - Salmon belly with fried (?) leaves

Grand Slam - layers of Otap, cream and chocolate ganache in full chocolate flavor

Green Tea Cheesecake

Tsokonut Batirol - Dela Rosa

It's a nice place to get your food fix and yet enjoy a relaxed environment. Perfect for get togethers with friends/colleagues.

Rellenong Bangus

Creamy Malunggay Pesto

Mangoes and Choco Cream

Pia y Damaso - Greenbelt 5

This restaurant boasts of its Filipino cuisine with a twist. The concept was taken from the novels of the National Hero Dr. Jose Rizal with two of its stunning characters~ Pia (mother of Maria Clara) and Padre Damaso. If you're looking at taking someone for a date, this is one of the places to try. The furniture compliments the richness of the food that they serve. Their dessert, Sisa's Dementia, is to die for.

Spinach Rice

Chicken Pastel

Sisa's Dementia

Pancake House - Dela Rosa

Aside from pancakes, the Pancake House is also known for its good food~pasta and house treats. Here's a snapshot of the dish that I got.

Pork Vienna

Quicky's - Food park

Chicken Fingers

Cafe Breton - Greenbelt

Breton Mozzarella Burger

Max's

Chicken Barbecue and Java Rice

Food is LOVE.

Busy as a Bee

2009-08-01T16:45:00.000+08:00

I haven't been blogging in such a long time now (that means I am uber busy with work and other stuff), and my new toy is to blame. I bought a pink (weee) clamshell phone so I'm busy tinkering with it during my free time. Apart from that, I've been trying out food from different restos with my close friends. I've been successful in not ordering two cups of rice (diet) and being able to resist the urge to eat pork (I prefer fish over pork now). I also try to do triceps extensions, bicep curls and a little cardio as well.

The past month was stressful yet fulfilling~I learned a lot of new things and discovered my 'hidden' talents (they're not hidden anymore now that I know them already LOL). Thanks to my engineering diagram skill (whoever my teacher was for this subject, thank you), I am able to make simple diagrams related to my work now. Working on a new project heightened my senses, especially that the topic being discussed is something far from what I've done in the past.

I won't spill the details but I'm just glad B and I are able to learn the ropes of managing our work and yet, despite our hectic schedules, we still find time to talk and see each other. Communication is the key in any relationship. I'm just glad each day ends and no one ends up 'outside the kulambo'. (FYI: We live in separate houses.)

I am learning a lot of things about myself and the people around me. I'd say my life has been surprisingly exciting lately! I hope things are gonna get even better soon! Cheers!

Pinky...

2009-07-27T18:31:00.000+08:00

Well, I just got a new phone - a trusty Z750i... in PINK!

I remember this morning's 'cellphone' mental picture, but I'd rather keep it to myself. :)

The Long Haul Part 2

2009-07-01T20:19:00.001+08:00

I've been equally blessed to have very few but trustworthy and loyal friends in PF. I'm happy and contented (well except for some) with the way things have been working, and for the past week, I haven't had much of a headache except when the air from the airconditioning is kinda hot, and when I get slight migraines from creating colorful presentations. The colors on a Mac screen are so vivid, it makes me blink more often.

I had fun drinking with a rather 'interesting' mix since most of them have not really gone drinking with the other members of the group - Grace, Liz, Myron, Dom, Brian, Jov and Francis G. It was a fun-filled night after a couple of rounds of Gilbey's Premium and Red Horse. I went home slightly buzzed (I have never been super drunk, wait till you see it) but still 'composed' nonetheless. At least I did not end up talking about stuff that I'm not supposed to spill. Weeee! I think I should go out more often...

Since it's already past the second quarter of the year and in three month's time I'd be 25 (I cannot believe I am already 25 when I have the mind of a 17-year old at times), I'd like to reminisce some thoughts that have been bugging me for the past 2 weeks or so.

1. I remember wanting to have a kid by the time I'm 28, and I'm afraid it might happen... sooner. :)

2. There was a time I thought I'd die to see my then bf get married. The only thing I missed out was, I'd die LAUGHING when he actually did.

3. I placed an age limit on dating men. Three years ago, I refuse to go out with someone who's more than 10 years my senior. Now, I don't really mind as long as he's hot as Tom Cruise is to Katie Holmes.

4. I was NEVER the SILENT type in my previous relationships. Either I'm silent because I'm sleepy, or I'm silent because I'm drunk. My boyfriend now would agree if I say I'm less talkative when it's only the two of us talking.

5. I grew up to believe that princesses meet their prince when they strive to be Ms. Priss~doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't curse. When I started working on developing my giggly and 'normal' self, I met someone whom I call 'the greatest love of my 24-year existence'. I wouldn't say our relationship is fuss free like legs treated with Laserlight (the procedure you undergo to make you hairless forever), but it's definitely a fresh Brazilian wax~no nicks, no stubbles, no chicken skin...It is not the most perfect relationship, but it is definitely something I'd be willing to work on for the rest of my life.

6. Have faith in people, especially with the ones you love. Don't expect a perfect situation but have faith that they will never fail to amaze and amuse you at the same time~not because they have to, but because they love you.. I just didn't expect what B did today, and I am happy I never coerced him into doing such. It just came naturally, and we're both happy with people's reaction.

7. Have faith in your friends, even if they tell you to go the other way. True friends won't judge you for what you do. They will always be your friend who will listen to whatever crap you tell them, but they also have the grit to snap the hell out of you when you need it the most.

8. Respect and trust are not earned by just donning a long-sleeved suit. People trust you because they know you are someone worthy of it. Don't push people to give you their trust, they'll just clam up and resent you for being such a sneaky 'patata'.

9. Realize that there are some people who will never be your friend no matter how hard you try. They would only be a mere acquaintance who will grace your FB, friendster, or yeah, office and party pics. Just another face who will eventually vanish once you have your beer belly when you're 50.

10. You can love as many men as you like/want/need. But remember that there can only be one who will touch your life, not just your face, your body or your heart. That person would always be one step ahead of the others. When you meet that person, hold on, have faith and pray...because there is a great picture that you have to paint, lessons to learn... and maybe, just maybe... an entire lifetime to share.

***

I was thinking of writing a story entitled, 'How Can Karma be so Digital?'.

I should start writing soon and have FAITH that if my shit gets published, people will appreciate my no-BS humor that hopefully can send more people rolling in the streets after having a round or two.

Or maybe, I could start writing my MMK story...

Or how B and I met...(cheesy!)

Or how evil my evil twin sis is (kidding... peace evil twin sis!)

Or how I enjoy, in my own little way, the conversations I have with friends over lunch or merienda

There are just a lot of stuff running in my head right now, I wonder if they ever get tired. :P

***

I better catch up on Zzzzzssss... I might be a couch patata tomorrow. :P

The B-randy Night

2009-06-22T18:09:00.001+08:00

What should a girl go on a Monday night?

Working from home sure has its benefits but for a workaholic like me, I think it backfired. I am so attached to the computer I can barely prevent myself from not looking at those lovely trackers. Numbers to me are like notes to a song - you can never be wrong with them when drafting your analysis. Numbers provide educated strategies and numbers can also provide depth to a seemingly 'useless' work. My brain switch continues to bank on ideas while my poor body is not yet done with at least 10% of what the brain wants to accomplish.

With Lady Gaga's album, a Logitech headset (which has a nice bass by the way) and the privacy of my own home, I can, oh well, sing my heart out! Poker Face, Love Game, Just Dance and Starstruck are the only songs in my WFH playlist! :) Weee!

Now that I'm officially done with work, I decided to taste some of Dad's Fundador. It tastes good with a little lemon. I am looking forward to partying this Friday (please???) like partying, dancing, clubbing~the works! I may not be the best dancer but I sure want to unwind to the tune of the blasting club music in the background...

I miss Joie (my clubbing mate), I miss clubbing. I miss partying in Greenbelt and Malate and just dancing with a random stranger. And it's just been 4 months that I've been trying really hard to be a 'good' girlfriend. I'm a far cry from my college self, and at times I miss it. It was the best 4 years of my life and I MISS IT! It was a time when I wasn't thinking of bills to pay, work to do and building a 'career'. That time it was all about enjoying life, eating, drinking and smoking cigarettes under the CMC skywalk, the Sunken Garden... and every building imaginable. It was about having Migs pay for my ChocKiss dinner and all about pissing him off by tapping the ash in his newly vacuumed car interiors. It was all about searching every dark parking imaginable for the 'top make out spot'. Mwahahahaha! It was all about building dreams that someday I'd be a mom to fraternal twins and I'd prepare my hubby's dinner every single night.

Three years shortly after graduation, I'm getting a shot of brandy on the eve of my last WFH day. No fraternal twins, no hubby. Not even a 'decent' bf. But I think at this point, I already fell for what I deemed as the greatest love of my 24-year existence. The others, well, they already married the greatest love of their -year existence. Don't get me wrong I love B to shreds, but sometimes, I just miss enjoying my youth and going out openly with a non-chalant may-not-care guy who's not so keen about PDA---no not the make-out PDA (you perv!) but the HHWWPSSP (holding hands while walking pa sway sway pa) type. B and I can go out, yes.. but PDA for him is a totally different story. (And that's a separate blog entry altogether..)

With everyone, and I mean everyone in my college friends list getting married/got married/is getting married because they got pregnant/is getting married because they found their (frog) prince...I FEEL SO PREYSHURED. And I say this with a Janina San Miguel conviction. I DON'T FEEL EYNI PREYSHURE. AT ALL. Yeah right.

After 4 scotch glasses of this Fundador thing and not a 'tama' to boot, I am hoping that things will turn out for the best. After all, the past two weeks was a deja vu of a long weekend dream I had last April.

***

How long has it been? I feel that it has been ages. Yes, I guess it has been ages. Thinking alone and thinking about your problems make you feel old. And thinking about what you want to do with your life make you feel so juvenile. As much as I'd like to map my 3-year plan, it still doesn't include fraternal twins or a doting husband...

I am still hoping someone would eventually clean his shit so that he can cook breakfast for the princess every single day of his life. And she'd be more than happy to oblige to cook him dinner for the rest of her life~even if that means she won't go clubbing anymore, or kissing random strangers, or even sitting in some cute guy's lap. for. the. rest. of. her. life. She'd only bask in his glory, his muscular and pasty thighs. After all, he's the greatest love of her 24-year existence.

***

That tops the 5th glass. Time to snooze.

The Long Haul

2009-06-13T12:11:00.000+08:00

I haven't been blogging for quite some time now. I have been very busy with work, new found friends, with B (weee) and with small stuff that make me happy.

Things at work have proved to be very promising and very challenging. I'm happy to be in a small but well-managed team, kudos to my boss and his very good people skills. I am not saying this to get merit, but John really is a great boss. (FYI. He doesn't read nor know my multiply so I don't get credit for giving such praise. I am not a kiss-ass.) He's very generous with compliments and I like his work ethics. Leonard has been a very good workmate and confidante at the same time, so in general, work is really good (the pressure, the deadlines and the truckload of work is not an issue.) Go Marketing!

B has been very busy with his work as well but I am hoping that we'd have more quality time with each other once all the hula-baloos are over. We manage to have short dates once in a while, but I am craving for the long 8-hour dates that we used to have. He always keeps me in the loop and for now, that's the only 'pressure' I can contain. I love to be busy with a little over 10 minutes left post-shower before I doze off to dream land. I hope to have couple massages in a few weeks...

I am excited about a lot of stuff, which includes my Guimaras trip. Kat, Grace, Marga, Allan and I (Jherome, kindly inform us if you've finalized your flight) are going to Guimaras on my birthday. Weee! :) You can bring your lovelives during the trip but I'm not bringing mine. :P Bawal ang cheesy! :P Bawal magdala ng hindi gusto ng mga kasama sa trip. Erm. Ihuhulog ko yun sa plane ride pa lang... Joke! (Jokes are half-meant.)

Another thing would be the launch of the Sony Satio (which I hope won't reach 40k), the counterpart of the iPhone. Either way, I know I am getting a new phone to replace my Nokia (the Sun signal work best with my SE phone, thus the switch). I am itching to go back to school and get certificate courses probably in culinary because I love eating. I have been constantly dropping weight (a good 2 lbs a week since the 16lb drop) for two reasons - I only eat two meals a day and I don't eat after 6pm. At times I cheat with the 6pm, but for most of the time, I only eat twice a day. I don't eat as much pork as well, which makes the weight loss even more promising.

I'm excited for Christmas: the Christmas vacay, bonus, gifts, parties and family get-togethers. Other than that, December is a normal work month.

I've been very blessed to have few but genuine and sane friends (who can keep up with my insanity) and as equally blessed to have a few people around who have the capacity to make my blood surge on a periodic basis. That way, I am keeping my patience and anger management level in check regularly.

I am so lazy to blog about what happened during the month and a half saga. All I know is that I know who my friends are, I know who are those people who pretend to be friends with me, and most importantly, I know who the sneakies are. So if you're guilty... well, you shouldn't be reading this blog. Hahahaha!

Mental Breaks

2009-05-12T13:59:00.002+08:00

Sometimes it's hard to be tough.You get pushed too hard and you feel that you are being shoved against the wall. It's frustrating that just when you badly need help, help is nowhere to be found (Lord, please give me a miracle!) And everyone around you still thinks you're alright...

I guess this is the second most terrible week of my entire life~ the 'ex' got married over the weekend (which made me realize that I am turning 25 this year), I am running a fever with expensive medicines (which would be reimbursed this Friday, hopefully), I have to get my dress for this weekend's wedding altered (I'm happy I'm one size smaller, but it was a stupid idea for me to stick to the sizing, nonetheless) and I'm running out of moolah. Enrollment time... (It's not just the tuition, it's the supplies, the uniform, heck.)

And then you get this "kulang pa" line. Punyeta. Kulang pa pala. I am sacrificing not just my 'gimik' money, but the money which should have been alloted for MY Master's Degree. I am sacrificing my budget for clothes, shoes and make-up. In fact, I've been sacrificing my 'social life' for one heck of almost a year just to send the sibling to school which, by the way, is NOT and will NEVER be, my responsibility. I didn't get married because I don't want to be responsible for another person, but this situation left me with NO CHOICE. And then you tell me, kulang pa.

Whenever I have to make ends meet way back in college, instead of complaining, I had to take a part-time job. That was fun, but it took a lot of discipline on my part. In fact, since I started working, I never went on an out of town trip just to lounge and burn moolah. Tell me why, why, why, does this have to happen to me when I could have just spent all those money on booze, clothes and gadgets?

I feel B's sentiment when he wakes up in the morning and he has to prepare his own breakfast when someone could have done it for him. I feel the same way when I go home to find out that 'everyone thought I had dinner outside'. Geez.

Sometimes it just blows up in your face like a bubblegum. Or it hits your toe like an ingrown toenail. You know it's there but it's just fucking painful to go through the process alone, needless to say, the repercussions after the 'ordeal'. (How did I come up with an ingrown as an analogy...tsk, tsk)

Sighs.

On a lighter note, B gave my mom some pastries last Sunday because I was Mother's Day. Sweet! Hugs* Hugs* And he even made beso. (Kamusta, meet the parents ito neh!) My mom thought he was sweet (He really is, in fact, he greeted me Happy Mother's Day too, I almost strangled him! Scary shit. Not yet. Not now. Teehee.)

And here's one of the best things:

A free chocolate glazed donut and small coffee from Krispy Kreme valid until the 30th of the month. Food again (while I try to lose weight).

I miss B. I miss our dates. I miss our long conversations. I have faith, that it won't be long until I see him every single day of my life.

Sounds corny but lately I call him BB Q - text lingo for BeBe Ko. I know it's corny, you can strangle me for the corniness... Hahahahah...

For now, I'd enjoy a warm bowl of sinigang and go to sleep before 8:00 PM ~ A first during the past 3 years. Ciao.

A Long Week

2009-05-02T18:00:00.001+08:00

Since it's my first week after a two-week rest, here are some snapshots of the week that was.

Tuesday, I had lunch with an officemate at Java Man. I had crispy sardines. Teehee!

Crispy Sardines Pasta at Java Man

That same day, I got an Ice Monster treat too...

And of course... the week won't end without me seeing B. Here's a snapshot of the food during our date...

Chai Latte from CBTL

Nachos from Don Henrico's

Italian Sausage Calzone

***

I got this question from a lot of people asking how B looks like. Believe me guys, he's a man. The reason why we don't post our photos together is because... we prefer to keep our relationship private. I know that he's not posting pictures of me as well, so to be fair to him, I chose not to post his pictures.

I hope that in time, we'd be able to show everyone our pictures... but for now... let's keep the blogging simple.

Just to give you the right information:

1. B and V are not one and the same. I don't have a B and V problem. B is the first letter of Baby, my pet name for B.

2. B is not a guy from the office.

3. B is not my bestfriend Tom.

4. B is not a girl, a disfigured guy or an 'ugly duckling'.

5. B is a real man, not an imaginary friend.

B and I love each other. I guess for now, that's what's important.

Thank you for your interest everyone! :)

***

Sometimes, when you and your guy are so tired from your jobs, you don't want to talk about all the issues with your lives anymore. All you want to do have coffee and relax~ exactly what B and I tried to do last Thursday. Although we saw each other earlier during the week *wink *wink, we just figured out that we should have one 'day off' during the entire week.

As always, it was a lovely evening, and I'm glad things are resolved because we always choose to talk about it. Having this relationship requires a great level of maturity on my part (I used to be the dominatrix...) but I learned how to give us individual spaces. It's amazing that we don't text or call each other as much during the day, but our conversations have variety because we can talk about our 'issues', 'reflections' and most importantly, 'sweet nothings' about anything and everything under the sun.

I guess when people are deeply in love, sometimes they don't need words to put the message across. Sometimes silence breaks all the barriers. Sometimes silence gives the other person the much needed pat on the back assuring that things are going to be alright.

Prayer is also another fundamental part of the relationship. I'm glad my relationship with B brings me closer to God more and more each day. I've begun to be more giving~with myself, family, co-workers (I think...) and friends. I value each opportunity more than how I did before.

The two week break was a breather, but what really helped me and my relationship with B was the time spent apart. It made us miss the other person more, and made us appreciate what's there and not look for what's missing.

One thing I learned this week was not to be stubborn to get the bigger size especially if B said so. Hahahaha. :P

This reminds me that I have to wake B up in time for his OT job tonight.

Kisses everyone!

Being Missed.

2009-04-20T20:29:00.000+08:00

It feels good being missed---you have that feeling of being important in that person's life. It feels good being missed by the person you love, but it feels a lot better when a lot of people tell you they miss your presence and how you would make them laugh.

A co-worker told me some people miss me. (Yeah I know, my loud voice, my loud laugh, my weird and funny comments...)

I miss ME too. I miss the carefree Florence, the passionate Florence who spends like close to 200 bucks every week to give chocolates to everyone in her class, and how she'd have the 'juicy question' game so that everyone would spill out their secrets. :P

I recall that I was the victim of my own game a couple of times...

There was this really pesky trainee who was 'forced' to tell the whole class who his crush because I purposely picked his name from the 'trainee list'. I know it was a wrong thing to do (geesh, it's cheating) but... he is the only one in class who is not able to answer a juicy question. So since I was the trainer and for the purpose of fairness, I had him answer the 'juicy' question which read:

Who is your crush in class? Describe him/her and give him/her a short message.

Florence: So, L _ _ _ _, can you describe your crush and give her a short message?

L: Sure. She's nice, she's smart and she's cute. I like the way she dresses especially when she wore that short skirt last Tuesday. (Everyone was giggling since I'm the only female in the room who wore a skirt to class!) Florence, you're my crush and even if you fail me in ACE training, after 6 months, I'd apply again and sit in your class. Would you go out with the whole class later?

Geesh. I thought someone asked me to marry him! My face was all red and all I said was...

"I'd go out with the entire class later if everyone passes"

Then I sent them on a break.

I miss ME. I miss going on with my trainees after class on Friday. I miss smiling at my trainees who would always volunteer to bring the headsets to the Facilities room even if I always decline their offer. I miss wearing heels and running around the site looking for an IT guy to have my ACE and GEM issues fixed. I miss the joy I get when everyone in the class passes and everyone is off for a non EOP drinking session. I find it hilarious whenever I remember my trainees trying to converse with me in English even outside the office premises and how their grammar would transform into Tarzan-English whenever they'd have more than two bottles of SMB.

I miss the look on their faces when they'd hear me order Red Horse and then the boys would be more than happy to open the bottle for me and hand me over another pack of Menthols.

That was my life almost a year ago. I miss it, it hurts at times when I would see my old trainees and they would remind me of how our classes went even if I don't even remember their names. I would miss them when they'd remind me who my 'love team' was in that particular class (I'd get a new love team every week, believe me. Some weird ones, the others... well, they were flirty as hell that I'd give them a hard time in class most of the time.)

But that was 'a long time ago'. I have a new chapter, a PF chapter.

I'd have to say a week is long enough to miss PF folks, so 2 weeks makes it all the more. I can't wait to drink on payday; I miss that. Teehee.

I have to get my mind off B for the meantime. I want to be able to miss him at the end of the day. Right now I know he's dog tired.. 'cause he's been running on my mind the entire day! (I know, I know, it's a corny joke) Besides, he's working, I'm working, we're both working.

I miss my PINK folder and my PINK box. I'm gonna get it back.

Love, Love.

2009-04-19T17:18:00.000+08:00

As what Yen mentioned... Almi's mantra was to "risk all and regret nothing". I guess that's going to be my mantra for as long as this heart beats...

I'm turning 25 this year (Yay)... ang finish line! (?)

***
I love my pink steno notebook and my Leone 'el cheapo' ballpen that writes so well, it's a good buy for Php 13.00! The ink is uber black, you'll love how it glides well on your white paper.

***

B, you know I love you. I'll love you wherever this heart would take me...Thanks for making life more meaningful and for loving me unconditionally even if I am a demanding and total bitch. (Hahaha)

Practice what you Preach

2009-04-19T13:28:00.000+08:00

It's ironic how people would go to church and claim they already forget, but talk about it everyday.

It's ironic how people serve in the church and hurt other people and their own family every single day.

I'm so tired of this prideful and freaking shit.

I wonder why peace comes so expensive these days.

Helpless, Hopeless Romantic's Realizations

2009-04-18T12:18:00.001+08:00

If you're not in for mushy and no-BS stuff, kindly read someone else's blog.

It feels great to be part of a couple---now you have a perennial date, a good confidante, an ally and a guy to brag about to your friends (admit it, beetch!). You also have a set 'schedule' once or twice a week and you have an 'guinea pig' when it comes to trying weird food. You have someone to kiss you goodnight and someone who'll comfort you and tell you that things are going to be alright.

But when the 'couple' tower is tested by the lack of time or the 'sudden change' in routine, you begin to realize that the only 'couple' who are 'together forever' is just you and yourself. Sometimes it's hard not to be jealous especially that you know he's been with lot of women. But as they say, you can never claim someone to be yours by tying him on his neck. Even if he strays, when he comes back to you then he's truly yours. So what am I supposed to do while he's figuring his 'shit' with the 'straying' part?

Option 1: Stray with his best friend and pretend that you guys were drunk and it was just 'that'. Option 2: Fill a bucket with your tears while you listen to James Blunt's "Goodbye my Lover" Option 3: Plot a 'busy' mode and work on something more 'productive' than wait for his call or text message Option 4: Write an entry about how you feel, take a bath in the tub while listening to Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive" Option 5: Refer to "He's Just Not That Into You" manual and read this month's topic on Cosmo about how to be the "girlfriend". Option 6: All of the above (?)

Sometimes people will say it feels good to go out on dates... Yes, I definitely agree with that. However, sometimes when you love someone so much and you don't know when everything will just end and how unstable your relationship is at the moment... you begin to be 'thankful' for every single moment that you spend with him and you'd move heaven and earth for both of you to spend quality time together.

You might say I'm stupid for not trying to work on a more stable relationship and that I have to move on and look for someone who's worth... but how would one really define 'the one who's worth'?

Is he the knight in shining armor who knocks you off your feet everytime you guys are together?

Is he the friend that you turn to when everyone in the world says "Boo"?

Or is he that ordinary person, with not even close to perfect situation, looks and personality who's just as real and who's willing to give it a shot?

"In a relationship" is tantamount to "It's complicated". Beyond the lovely dinners, and the shameless drama, you just know that deep in your heart, if it would end, it would always be a memorable and a bittersweet part of who you are now. And if it's meant to be yours forever, you will forever be grateful for the greatest love etched in your mind, heart and soul.

It feels good to be in love --- and equally as 'hard' as you have to work to keep the love alive.

But that's love, that's life. For now, I'd be following Option 4.

Teriyaki Boy Lunch Date

2009-04-18T12:10:00.001+08:00

B and I had lunch at Teriyaki Boy yesterday and it was a great experience. At least he did not let me eat something raw (I hate raw food). I love their Chicken Teriyaki! Their fish and chips was also a must-try and their Surf and Turf (?) maki was delicious although it was not as spicy as wel thought it should.

Here are some snapshots:

Chicken Teriyaki

Chicken Teriyaki and Surf and Turf (?) Maki

B's Fish and Chips

and the best part of it all...

my time-off-from-the-world-me-and-myself coffee moments...

...that's Cafe Au Lait (Cafe Latte) from Cafe Breton.

Arya Date

2009-04-16T12:04:00.001+08:00

B surprised me with a late lunch at Arya. Wee. We had lunch last Tuesday and it was one of the best dates since I got to sit in the special chairs. Hehehehe.

I only took a pic of my food since B's order was something I already got last time - Beef Mahksus. Let the pics do the talking...

Then I had a nice Cafe Leigois part 2 at Cafe Breton.

At least there was something to be happy about...

Teehee. B+food is love.

Tiring Crap.

2009-04-12T17:06:00.001+08:00

I'm getting really tired of being responsible for someone else's actions. Can't I just be at least responsible for JUST MY OWN actions?

I'm getting tired of this set-up and the stress it brings EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Oh, by the way...

I spent the Holy Week cleaning my room, washing my plastic drawers and washing my clothes. Tonight, I'll be working on ironing the clothes.

I have to go to church in a bit. I hope before I leave, my phone would been properly updated...

I spent the afternoon helping B sort some of his files. Wee. I am keeping my fingers crossed for the 'supposed' date with B and my little sis. :)

Happy Easter Everyone!

2009-04-12T16:02:00.004+08:00

I got a pink Easter Egg from B this morning. *Blushes* I haven't gotten an Easter egg in years, although I remember that when I was a kid, I've been giving personally hand-painted Easter eggs to family and friends. I miss making Easter eggs. Teehee. Thanks B. Thanks for making me feel special all the time.

And the egg is PINK! Woohoo!

Persian Food and Triple B Treat

2009-04-03T16:23:00.001+08:00

B and I tried Arya last night. We've been eyeing this resto since forever, but since it's jam-packed most of the time, we never really thought of going through all the trouble of waiting. Last night, there were a lot of tables available so we decided to give it a try.

Here are some pictures of what we had for our romantic dinner:

Arya Dip Platter

clockwise, from top: Mast O Musir, Hummus, Mirza Ghasemi and Moutabal

Pita Bread

Makhsus beef - the other portions are in chunks while the other beef portion looks like an embutido

Lamb Biryani

And to top the one of the best dinners I ever had, here's one of the best breakfasts made by a very special person! Thanks B!

Triple B. B One of the best consolations I ever had. Thanks B.

Noki and Kitty got pimped!

2009-04-02T08:04:00.003+08:00

Noki

Kitty

I was able to have the covers of Noki and Kitty changed. Wohoo. Now they look brand-new. I am still looking for a nice SE phone for my Sun line, although I'm not that excited since Noki looks a lot bearable now.

I am looking at a SE T303 (the black one) or a W350i to replace Noki or I might as well wait for Idou to come out. Sweet.

Noki's pictures were taken using a SE K800 and Kitty's pictures were taken using a Nokia 2630.

No wonder I am still and will always be... a loyal Sony fan and customer.

The Weekend Dread.

2009-03-27T13:19:00.000+08:00

It's really such a bad idea to take a day off on a Thursday - You come in on a Friday feeling refreshed, only to remember that it's the last day of the week. Sheesh.

I remember I have a doctor's appointment on Sunday. Whew. Jam packed.

I am taking my sister to the mall tomorrow. Wee! Sister bonding moments. :)

I'm gonna miss B. It's the weekend and as usual, his hands are full with work...

Mango Sago Thursday

2009-03-26T20:00:00.001+08:00

The 22 oz Mango Sago from the Mango Farm

This is what you buy when you're waiting for the OB-GYNE to arrive. The sad part is, while I waited for an hour already, the other doctor was the one who accommodated me instead. The worst part, the consultation only took 10 minutes and I have to go back to the clinic for another test this Sunday. I hope everything is going to be okay on Sunday so I'm off to worry-free land.

Whew.

On a lighter note, B promised to help me lose weight. I wonder what his methods are... :)

Next Door by North Park Late 'Dinner'

2009-03-26T19:36:00.001+08:00

Leonard, JC and I had our late 'dinner' at North Park in Makati Avenue. This was after our 'call center shift' for the TM launch.

Let the pictures do the talking...

Yang Chow Fried Rice

Lemon Chicken

Lechon Macau

Siomai

Chrysanthemum Juice

Food is love. Happiness!

Thanks JC for the wonderful treat. :)

Do You Know?

2009-03-26T04:33:00.001+08:00

I chanced upon an open laptop and was about to open my Facebook. After all, it's the Twitter of my life. I've never opened my Friendster everyday the way I used to do last year since Facebook...

It was indeed a shocking revelation to know someone you've never met, and that someone, who happens to own the account, revealed some heart-warming thoughts that maybe that person and I would never talk about. NEVER.

It revealed so much of a woman in love with a man who may or may not want her anymore. It revealed of heartaches and constant grace despite a heartbreaking event in her life. It revealed of so much love, it breaks my heart.

Somewhere in time, our lives were interconnected. After all, I stumbled upon her Facebook account in someone else's laptop. Maybe the coincidence was meant to happen... I could see her sadness --- her eyes, the way she holds the kid whom she considers as her own, and how she'd want to have her own baby in the future.

We have the same dreams --- we both wanted to become a mother. Although she has accepted the possibility that she may grow old without one, I am still hoping, and praying, that somehow, my story is truly a happy ending.

I just hope, and pray, that thirteen years from now, when I'm about the same age as she is today, I'd be happily married to a wonderful man and our kids are running around the house (well, the running around the house would only be applicable during weekends). Sometimes, it's hard to be on the other side. But sometimes, you also learn to put your feet back on the ground when you know the misery of others.

I guess the lesson learned would be to make sure that the open laptop you're using doesn't have active accounts open so that you won't chance upon other people's accounts just like what happened to me.

Then again, thanks Lord for opening your heart to letting me know the misery of others, and how I, in my own little way, could empathize with them.

To the Girl whose Facebook account revealed itself to me:

I know you might never know about this entry, nor know anything about me. I just want to let you know that from a woman to a woman, I feel your pain. But if I were in your place, I'd just know when I need to let it go. I feel your strength and your determination and I hope you find it in your heart what truly makes you happy. Sometimes there are things that can't be fixed simply because they're already broken. They say you only have one life to live, and you have to live it to the fullest. I hope you'd find your happiness and your peace and that maybe, just maybe, we'd get to know that the other person, really did exist at some point in our lives.

Pizza and Pasta Dinner

2009-03-24T19:38:00.001+08:00

PF friends Meann, Eden, Mike, Leonard and I had dinner at A Veneto in Greenbelt. Here's what we got:

Nut Pesto with Seafood

Carbonara Pasta with Chicken

Special Pizza and Pizza Ala Puttanesca

It was indeed a great gastronomical treat. For the low, low price of Php 200 each. :)

The Mystery of Dr. Manhattan

2009-03-24T08:01:00.000+08:00

For a lot of you who constantly read my blog, you must have known B or Dr. Manhattan for that matter. His identity, I think, is something that B and I should keep --- for the meantime. If things go well as planned, we'd be more than happy to come out to everyone. Yihee.

For now, I'll be content to post pictures of the food in our dates (shit, sira ang diet plan nito... naman) and blog about the sweetness there is.

All I can say is I'm happy, we're both happy even if we're together or we're apart. We'll always be friends no matter what.

Even if Dr. Manhattan would eventually leave earth and Silk Spectre finds her Nite Owl, they would still be friends.But of course, both Silk Spectre and Dr. Manhattan hopes and prays that their story has an ending far more different than the one written in the comic series and the movie. They want to be together, in Mars on in Earth.

Stolen Moments

2009-03-22T19:51:00.001+08:00

It was a nice Thursday night dinner for me and B. We had dinner at Don Henrico's. It's my first time to eat at the resto with B and I must say, he was right when he told me their apple iced tea is simply heavenly!

Don Henrico's Thin Onion Rings (Thinly sliced onions, lightly hand-battered and fried to a golden crisp. Served with Don Henrico's own ranch dressing)

Caribbean Green Salad (Fresh lettuce, corn, pineapple, tomatoes, onion, barbecued chicken breast and crispy fried noodles, with Don Henrico's own ranch dressing)

Beef Calzone (Filled with pepperoni, beef, onion and bell pepper, plus 100% mozzarella cheese, homemade ricotta cheese and tasty cheese)

Teehee! This is the third restaurant in the me and B's list! :)

The Big Chill

2009-03-18T11:03:00.001+08:00

A Melon Watermelon Chill to brighten and refresh a dull and dreary day.

I promise...

2009-03-18T10:27:00.000+08:00

...to buy cell phone casings and take care of my phones once I have their covers changed!

I don't want them to look grepa so when I get my moolah this Friday, I will have Kitty's (my K800) cover changed. I am just waiting for Noki's (Nokia) cover to be delivered in 2-3 weeks! Teehee.

I will put them in their soft casings even if this means I have to buy a huge pouch to house them.

Wohoo.

Café Breton Moments

2009-03-18T05:18:00.003+08:00

Café Breton
Café Leigeois (Leej*wah) and Cappuccino Coffee

After a supposedly long day of going to the bank and retrieving my ATM, I thought of checking Cafe Breton and trying their coffee with B. It's another first for both of us and I guess it's enough to end the tiring day!

*blushes*

Friday and the morning after

2009-03-16T08:03:00.000+08:00

B and I had a quiet dinner at... Pho Hoa...again! I tried their Chien Ga Ot Sung, Dau Phung (Kung Pao Chicken with Chili), Goi Cuon (fresh spring rolls) while B tried their Com Tom Rim (chili shrimps and rice). We topped our orders with a pot of jasmine tea and apple carrot juice.

It was indeed all about great food and great company. B was asking me how come I forgot to take pictures... well I was just too hungry to think about that I guess... You know that feeling when you feel sad knowing that in a few hours you'll be alone again and the Friday night is over---kills my heart.

I haven't had the best weekend in weeks and I just spent the entire Saturday catching on sleep. Then I spent the Sunday evening trying to sleep and yet have that creepy feeling that someone is looking at me.

Weird.

This series of weird events started with B - the short naps, the not so deep sleeps and oh well, the feeling that someone is watching you all the time.

I hope this stops tonight.

Dr. Manhattan

2009-03-11T05:26:00.000+08:00

...you know I'm in love with you...

I'd hope you get your powers..

...so that you can work and at the same time, be with me and get naked all the time. =) (The real Dr. Manhattan is naked)

Kinky thoughts.

On a serious note, I'd really want to wake up right next to you

every

single

day

for

the

rest

of

my

life.

Take me to Mars.

Remember to let me breathe because being with you

is simply

breathless.

(Inuman na 'to.)

The 'Dating Dump Dread' Syndrome

2009-03-10T04:30:00.000+08:00

So you meet this guy - in the bangketa, in the bathroom (hopefully not inside), in the coffee shop... all while the fireworks with the words 'He's the one' is spelled on the dark sky.

You sigh.

You start with the, "Hi I'm Ina Mocha, what's yours" line, while he replies with a frantic flutter of the eyelash and the brushing of the hair, "I'm Jake".

You sigh again.

You look at his kissable lips, you sniff his Bulgari perfume and you can't help but want to hold that cotton shirt close to your skin.

So the "Hi I'm Ina, I'm Jake" story doesn't end there.

You start dating him.

You dine together and hold hands under the table. You watch movies together and have coffee under the pristine Makati sky.

Soon, you find yourself putting the spoon with some ice cream in his mouth. Wow, how sweet.

You pepper his phone with "I love yous" and "I miss yous" as if it's imperative to end each message with such.

You tell your closest male friend saying that Jake was one of the best things that happened to you and that you are more than willing to take the chances with him.

You are in your best mood and no one---not even Chris Brown can ruin your day.

Then he drops the ultimate bomb stronger that the atomic bomb, it shattered your heart into pieces and the damage is far way worse than that of the Hiroshima...

"I'm really happy to have your love. I feel so honored. Whatever happens, whoever is in store for us in the future, we'd still be friends."

Friends? My ass.

For the first time in centuries, I am getting this "I am really, really pissed with you" feeling. Argh. I hate to be a bitchy-clingy gal, but this non-chalance is driving me nuts.

And then he does a ruggedly 'handsome' warning sign of not picking up the phone and putting both his mobile phones off. *Claps*

Whatever your reason is, we'd be friends. *Sneers*

I feel terrible today, and you make it worse.

Firsts for 2009

2009-03-08T17:53:00.000+08:00

You Changed my Life - first Filipino movie and first movie I watched for 2009

Watchmen - first foreign movie I watched for 2009; first movie date for 2009; first movie date with B.

First Time at these Restos:

Piggy Wiggy
Lemon Twist
Pho Hoa
Pho Bac
Cafe Mediterranean

Baguio - first trip with office mates for 2009
* First time at the Strawberry farm, the Bell Church and Camp John Hay

There are definitely a lot of firsts for me this year, and I am looking forward to more with loved ones and friends.

A Week in Restaurants and Movies

2009-03-08T16:25:00.001+08:00

I was so stressed last week and decided to at least have a change of scenery. Hence the major food trip. Despite my tummy's mumblings last Tuesday, I was able to still enjoy dinner. Whew.

RESTAURANTS and COFFEE

Piggy Wiggy

As expected, I ordered Daing na Bangus (milkfish in soysauce). Contrary to its name, it offers a lot of bangus dishes. Eddieboi loved their Binagoongang Bangus (milkfish in sauteed shrimp paste) which I eventually tried on my third visit.

Daing na Bangus

Binagoongang Bangus

UCC

B and I had coffee at UCC. He ordered Hot Almond Roca while I got the Blueberry with Banana 'Healthy' Shake. He likes the blue M while I like the green M. The shake looks yummy and tastes better than it looks like.

Pho Hoa

B and I had dinner at Pho Hoa, and it was our first time eating in this restaurant. Teehee. We both had fun with what we ordered - Goi Cuon (Fresh Spring Roll Shrimp & Chicken), Com Ga Nuong Cha Gio (Grilled Chicken & Fried Spring Rolls with Rice), Com Ca Chien (Breaded Fish on Rice) and a big serving of their house iced tea. I was not able to take a photo of my food since it was the last to be served, I ate it before I realized I should take a shot. Erm.

Spring Rolls - B and I ate some until I thought of taking photos :P

B's Breaded Fish on Rice

The Super House Blend Iced Tea - big serving, big taste

Pho Bac

Youri and I tried Pho Bac with me thinking it was Pho Hoa. Good thing, they also serve good Vietnamese food. So much for Pho - whatever. :P It was great dining, and we tried their Spring Rolls. I tried their Spare ribs and Lemon Grass while Youri had their serving of grilled fish.

Here's a snippet of the yummy dinner:

Lemon Twist (the restaurant right beside Piggy Wiggy)

I tried their Buffalo Chicken Wings and it was yummy! According to the description, "deep fried wings tossed in a spicy Tabasco sauce"... It's a good deal for 8 wings for the affordable price of 130 bucks!

Cafe Mediterranean

This is the best deal for the week! Aside from the fact that I've been eyeing this restaurant for the longest time, it was a first for me and B as well! :) Teehee!

First we tried the Soupe au Pistou (Vegetable soup with basil pesto). I am not a soup fan but this soup is definitely going to be a favorite. It has beans (something I don't like but I loved in this dish), potatoes and has that filling tomato-sour taste. B and I loved it!

What B had was something really out of this world - Lamb with eggplant and cream. Instead of rice, he had couscous which according to Wikipedia is: a Berber dish consisting of spherical granules made by rolling and shaping moistened semolina wheat and then coating them with finely ground wheat flour.

Let me have the pictures do the talking:

The Soup

B's super lamb dish

B's couscous

My Egyptian fish fillet and buttered rice - a truly flavorful treat

What I ordered was really an "I hope this is good" order. It was bursting with flavor that even their lemonade was the authentic-sour one. I asked for sugar to sweeten my drink instead. What I liked about Cafe Mediterranean was their customer service. The crew was patient to explain to us what each dish is all about, and how they gave me white sugar, brown sugar and Equal sweetener when I requested for sugar to make my lemonade a little sweet. Talk about good customer service. B and I will definitely try their other dishes. It was my first time to try lamb---it was good but I guess I'd prefer the well-done type next time.

B and I loved our food and will definitely Cafe Mediterranean next time. B said it was a good pick, coming from someone who's not adventurous when it comes to food. =)

Starbucks - Rockwell

Need I say more? B and I had Cafe Mocha with a shot of mint. Yum yum.

Sis - MOA

This one is a really good restaurant. Daddy Edward, Chris and me had their Sweet Garlic Crab, Buttered Shrimp and Baked Tahong with cheese. You have to buy the seafood from a nearby 'palengke' then have the restaurant do the cooking. This one is the most expensive that I've tried since B was paying for the Pho Hoa and the Cafe Mediterranean. It was a huge treat that Daddy Edward and I had to take home half of the food. Whew.

MOVIES

You Changed My Life starring Sarah Geronimo and John Lloyd Cruz (Greenbelt 3)
Watchmen (Rockwell Cinema 6)

I'm not really much of a movie fan, but I guess I am happy watching those movies because I watched it with people I care about --- You Changed My Life with Youri and Watchmen with B.

I'm going to find my Miggy Montenegro! Hahahaha... I can't believe B was uttering "Bebe Ko, Bebe Ko, Bebe!" even if he finds the movie so cheesy. Now he wants to be Dr. Manhattan and he calls me Silk Spectre. Hahahahah... Goodness. To give you an idea, Dr. Manhattan is a naked blue man while Silk Spectre is his young love interest. Good luck. :P

The week was indeed an eye opener for me that there's more to life that work and home. There's an interesting world out there, so interesting I'd take chances to discover it with a friend or even alone. The experience somehow helped me cope with the stress that I've been experiencing for the longest time. I know it's not gone forever, but I am coping to get back on track.

Goodbye My Lover - James Blunt

2009-03-04T13:14:00.000+08:00

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow

Grocery Discoveries

2009-03-03T03:47:00.000+08:00

The trips to the grocery are always amusing. I'd sometimes see myself getting a different brand of product from the one that I normally use - even if the one I'm using has been pretty okay. Try and try until you succeed. Hahaha.

Here are some of the new ones I've tried and my reviews on them (Well, they're not full reviews, just some sort to give you an idea):

1. Johnson and Johnson's Cooling powder - This is perfect for the summer season. Not only does it cool the skin, it also smells uber clean. Try it for yourself, it's a good buy for 20 bucks.

2. Safeguard Body Wash - I'm not a fan of beauty body washes, since I'm more concerned about germ protection than the rich moisturising properties. There's a moisturiser to address that moisturising problem anyway. But lo and behold, I found out that Safeguard released the body wash counterpart of their popular soap variants. I've tried the Pure White, Cool Menthol and the Pink Blossoms and I like them all!

3. Pond's Age Miracle Anti-Ageing Tinted Moisturiser - This is a holy grail discovery. I've always wanted a moisturiser that goes on sheer but can give you the anti-ageing benefits and SPF protection you need as well. I'd say this is way better than the old brand that I was using. Way better. You can go on putting this without putting foundation on top. Just apply, let dry and top with a good face powder for a more polished look. Good for girls on the go!

4. Champion Detergent - I'm not trying to be a Susan Roces here, but Champion has a fresh scent that lasts for days. If you're not a fan of Tide, this is a milder and more affordable alternative. I usually wash my colored clothes with Champion since it cleans really well and yet it's does not have bleaching properties.

5. Maybelline Unstoppable Curly Extension Mascara - Alright, I did not buy this from the grocery, I bought this from the make-up counter. Nyahahaha. I recommend this if you already have thick lashes and would just want to curl and elongate them. It does not come with fibers so it comes really clean when you swipe it on your lashes. It's good for those 'come hither' clean and polished look.

Dipi col Indeed.

2009-03-02T13:38:00.000+08:00

Silence can do wonders.

Silence can sugarcoat the bitterness in your heart... silence can bring calm when your mind is in a 'state of calamity'.

I cannot believe that there is a storm far stronger than DB. Just when I thought I was strong enough to conquer my fears, my knees are all wobbly when I'm reminded of how he just handed me the headset yesterday. Shocks. I felt I was wearing my lacy Grade two socks while a crush of mine was handing me lollipop. Ampota. I'm in a limbo.

Silence can bring answers to questions you wouldn't dare ask, or answers to questions whose answers you are dreading to hear.

But despite the silence and the kept hushes, I can't help but think about the way he makes my cheeks blush with glee. Like what my former student Jin Young Kang told me when I asked her to answer a math problem, "Tee cha, dis is dipi col."

After a couple of lines and a couple of types here and there, I know in my heart, I love this guy. Parking lot item AGAIN.

A Great Way to Start the Week.

2009-03-02T13:32:00.000+08:00

I got a really nice and USEFUL gift from a very special person yesterday. I looked like a girl who just woke up on the wrong side of the bed whose facial expression changed upon the sight of the "giver" and the "gift".

I was really surprised (I haven't gotten one for the longest time. Most of the time I already anticipated the giver, or worse, the gift). This is one of the best gifts I ever received this year! Woot, woot!

Thank you so much B.

Headsets are bliss... not to mention the other plug is PINK. Teehee.

Worth Writing About...

2009-02-24T03:15:00.000+08:00

There are some things worth blogging about, or people worth remembering. There are some events worth that small space in someone's planner, and some pictures ought to be forgotten.

The past days in bullets:

I met a new friend, JC - had lunch at Fish Out of Water: The lemongrass juice is tops, and the chicken fingers and the fries was yummy. I love the dip. I tried his crab dish, it was yummy too! Hahahah. It's nice finding a person who's as talkative as I am.
Orly had his send-off party while Meann celebrated her nth birthday (Please supply n with a real number.) The PF party people chilled the night away at Strumms, and the morning, at Music 21. Jov got drunk and chatty - again. Mike was sleepy and had those 'sleepy' photos.
KC from London stayed for a week, leaving some girls giggling. :P (me, not included)
The bosses are in the office - TM and JB. JB treated me and Leonard to lunch at Delifrance. The pesto-sandwich-iced tea-dessert combo was muy delicioso.
I've been using my pink bag for a week now. - I know this not blog worthy, but this is my blog anyway. :P

And it only took 5 precious minutes to write this blog. By the way, I was in the office before 7:00am which means I can go home at 4:00pm! Yay. I could have the much-needed rest. I was not able to sleep well last night. Argh.

Struggles with a Wisdom Tooth

2009-02-18T18:36:00.000+08:00

There are a lot of things going on my mind, and my tooth is definitely one of them. I had my wisdom tooth restored after the corner chipped, and I can't help but try to feel if there's something sharp or irritating about the said tooth. Luckily, it doesn't have any, except that it has this peculiar shape. As long as it's hidden, doesn't have a cavity or a sharp stabbing pain on my mouth, I'm fine. I still have to check how the tooth would be feeling tomorrow...

A lot of people are asking me (damn, I thought you guys were my friends?) when am I getting married. I think the more appropriate question would be... when will I decide to have a commitment? Believe me, I also dream about weddings and all those cheesy stuff... but... once the image of me being a mom creeps in, I get hell scared. It's even scarier than having a root canal. (God forbid, please do not let me have a root canal or another extraction for the next 30 years. I promise to visit the dentist once a month).

I felt that I missed out on a lot, and I have yet to see the world, meet new people, and develop new interests. I want to be able to go to school again, attend seminars and join causes. There's just a lot of things that I want to do and a lot of pleasure-threatening adjustments that I have to make. There's a life for me aside from getting married and having kids (then all of a sudden, I'd shock everyone by saying I am getting married, in like, three months, hahahaha) at the young age of 25. (For the record, my mom got married at 26, pressure!) At the moment, I am not thinking of starting my own family yet, especially that I haven't found the one human to start it with. As they say, you can never CAN tell. (The additional 'can' is intentional).

I pray that I may have the patience, and the endurance to actually go through this ordeal in life. Quarter life crisis, as they say. I hope I'd get a quarter pounder everytime I think about my quarterlife crisis. Nyahahaha. Food again.

I've been feeling a lot of 'pain' here 'pain' there, and more frequest hot flashes (this is not good). I hope this has nothing to do with me at all. Maybe it's just because of the weather.

My new eye candy is the SE Idou (not the final name of the model) and I'm willing to wait for the next 6 months to get my hands on this fancy piece of entertainment called the cell phone. But if a phone has 12.1 mp, wouldn't you want to get one for yourself as well?

I have to be wise about my life choices. After all, I already have a wisdom tooth. That should make me in a way, wiser..

Random thought: I wonder if there will come a time when we can just Bluetooth the pain to the intended recipient. That, for me, is LOVELY.

Wishdom tooth, please don't fail me.

Things that I used to do when I was in UP.

2009-02-17T06:40:00.000+08:00

It's good to remember the days when... I used to do all the crazy things in college.

[x] Worried about getting bullied by fratmen or getting killed in a riot.
[ ] Got bullied by fratmen or was killed in a riot.
[x] Witnessed a riot.
[x] Watched the Oblation Run. - never missed one!
[x] Made friends with a teacher.
[ ] Was tricked as a freshman into attending a rally / prayer meeting.
[x] Wore red or black on one of those wear red or wear black days. Intentional and by accident.
[x] Wore red on Valentine’s Day.
[x] Wore black on Valentine's Day.
[ ] Celebrated a birthday at Mang Jimmy's.
[x] Learned UP Naming Mahal.
[x] Was an RA (registration assistant) or SA.
[x] Lied or begged to an RA for a slot in class.
[x] Participated in a there's-only-one-more-slot
-are you-feeling-lucky?
[x] Jogged around the campus.
[x] Visited the Vargas Museum.
[x] Knew at least one xerox lady, manong, or technician by name.
[ ] Attended university level graduation.
[x] Got an activist for a teacher.
[x] Watched a La Salle vs. Ateneo UAAP game.
[x] Watched a UP vs. any school basketball game. and watched them lose
[x] Studied in CASAA.
[x] Studied in McDonald's or Jollibee Philcoa for one full night and bought just one regular-sized drink.
[x] Studied along Katipunan.
[x] Studied along Katipunan and affected the mannerisms of a stereotypical Atenean.
[x ] Watched a play that's not required for Comm III.
[x] Went stargazing.
[x] Ate in Chocolate Kiss, Tea Room (in CHE) or Chateau Verde.
[x] Slept in the lib.
[ ] Struck up a conversation with a taong grasa.
[x] Wrote to/for the Collegian.
[x] Seriously pondered about the identity/ies of the people described in Eksenang Peyups.
[x] Went to the chapel.
[x] Got a pebble stuck in your shoe/slippers while walking in Sunken Garden
[ ] Cut class with your block to watch a movie.
[x] Had a Voltes V for a teacher.
[ ] Took a class under Joseph Palis.
[x] Lied to the transcript lady to get a transcript earlier than the standard 3 months.
[x] Went to a Freshman-only concert.
[x] Subsisted on just streetfood (fishballs, half footlongs, kwekwek, squidballs/rolls, mais, dirty ice cream) for a day.
[x] Learned how to smoke.
[x] Went on an out-of-town trip with blockmates or orgmates.
[x] Fell in love.
[x] Actually read the book you keep borrowing from the lib.
[x] Played cards during your free time.
[x] Dressed in business attire.
[x] Sumabit sa jeep.
[ ] Got sung to or sung to someone in class during Valentine's day.
[x] Watched the Lantern Parade.
[x] Helped out a total stranger.
[x] Helped out a total stranger because he/she was hot.
[x] Learned to stay awake for more than 24 or 48 hours straight. Talk about Journ classes. Ryan, you were with me and Virge Basug on this.
[ ] Got bullied by fratmen and feeling cool wannabe people who were actually losers.
[x] Took Wednesday and/or Sat classes WILLINGLY.
[ ] Volunteered for the pahinungod.
[x] Ate "tasteless white sauce" pasta from cock-a-noodle-doo.
[x] Got a boyfriend/girlfriend.
[x] Took time to read the vandalism in the CR.
[x] Watched a sexy art film for any GE class.
[x] Got held up or pickpocketed.
[ ] Felt depressed because you were not as good academically as you were in high school.
[x] Did a last minute paper.
[x] Had spent a lot for 1x1 ID pictures.
[x] Got exempted from final exams.
[ ] Got exempted from a final exam but still took it.
[x] Attended a varsity pep rally.
[ ] Watched LIVE AIDS, Androgyny, Maskipaps or any well-known variety show.
[ ] Promised to quit smoking.
[ ] Got into at least one (org- or council-sponsored) adventure race. and WON!
[x] Knew where the best restrooms are on campus.
[x] Joined an org.
[ ] Allowed yourself to make mistakes.
[ ] Went to the gym in spite of having no PE class just to ogle varsity players/cute boys/hot girls.
[x] Took summer classes.
[ ] Admired the Oblation.
[x] Made a video for a project.
[x] Had a crush on a teacher.
[ ] Had a teacher who had a crush on/tried to court you.
[x] Attended your ROTC Bivouac.
[ ] Faked sickness to get an absence excused.
[ ] Got your car scratched by one of those "Kuya bantayan ko kotse niyo" kids
[ ] Took a PE class where you had to pay for tuition
[x] Went to school in your crappiest yet most comfy clothes.
[ ] Learned how to use the Bayantel pay phones.
[x] Participated in school activities.
[ ] Caught the UP Pep Tryouts.
[ ] Dated someone from UP.
[x] Rode an IKOT and TOKI.
[x] Found a tambayan.
[x] Went drinking at Sarah's. (May libre pang rumble!)
[ ] Learned how to beg for a higher grade.
[x ] Used your 6 allowable absences wisely. - Wisely... Went absent to review for an exam.
[x] Lived in a dorm.
[x] Volunteered to be beadle or go-to guy for your group / class.
[x] Had the worst schedule.
[ ] Realized that there really is just one coconut tree on the sunken garden. (and now it’s gone)
[x] Did not use up all 6 allowable absences.
[x] Ate in ISSI, Treehouse, Mama Thai's and other more obscure cafeterias.
[x] Ate food Aristocart-style.
[x] Is active in your org.
[x] Attended an ACLE.
[ ] Got as many app forms as you can during the job fair.
[x] Learned how to cram.
[x] Sold tickets for an org-sponsored movie premiere.
[ ] Saved money to photocopy all of your seatmate's notes.
[x] Had accidentally seen a make-out session.
[x] Slept in class. (STS yun!)
[x] Finished a homework/assignment/paper in the Shopping center or Philcoa.
[x] Had mountains of "unused" sample exams and/or old testaments.
[x] Resolved to be "better this semester."
[ ] Slept during a test.
[x] Had groupmates from hell.
[x] Learned how to work with groupmates from hell.
[ ] Perfected the art of parking on campus.
[x] Had a bad encounter with one of the guards on campus.
[x] Developed a love for sisig (go RODIC's tapsilog!)
[x] Practiced those UP cheers in the first meeting for PE class.
[x] Looked at microfilms in the library or poked through archives.
[x] Reserved a classroom, AVR, etc. for a class or org function.
[x] Attended the UP Fair.
[x] Went to a library other than your own college's to research. - Yes, to boywatch and to gossip. Hahaha.
[x] Lost a perfectly functioning umbrella.
[ ] Used consultation hours properly.
[ ] Went to the Guidance Office for real, heart-to-heart guidance.
[x] Went to the infirmary.
[x] Attended class with a hangover. - this one I did for an entire semester and I got HIGH grades. Alcohol does me well. Hahahah.
[x] Drink beer or alcohol while inside UP grounds. - Yes, I had a boarding house in the campus, hello!
[x] Walked all the way to Philcoa or Katipunan from UP.
[ ] Buy frogs from NSRI or a Bio department
[ ] Maxed out on the 6 allowed unexcused absences but DID NOT drop.
[x] Got invited or pursued by a sorority or fraternity.
[x] Wore slippers to school.
[x] Had a professor who smoked in class. Prof. Bailen was using a pipe. Come on.
[ ] Got diagnosed by the Infirmary as pregnant or infected with STD.

One Great Love.

2009-02-16T09:18:00.000+08:00

I looked at my Dad and Mom last night when they left for church. After 25 years of marriage, they still look so much in love... I wonder when I'd get that "I'm in love glow."

Singlehood is a gift that I am starting to appreciate. They say in life that if you love deeply, you'd never ever have to wonder what if... because love is something that is freely given without expecting anything in return. After a break up, you'd hurt, feel battered, ugly, worthless... that's but normal. It's human nature to hurt, since the pain is one of the manifestations that you loved unconditionally.

Last December, I opened the fresh pages of my planner and told myself, "Florence, what are you gonna do this year? How would you make this year more exciting that the last one?"

I thought I'd make some trips to placed I've never been before. It's about time to experience the life outside my comfort zone, enjoy life and learn more things. There are more things to life than money. There's a reason why I now have a day job and not toiling the days in a call center. God has been good to give me everything I've wished for, and he has been blessing me in many ways I could imagine.

I get the chance to be with my Dad almost everyday. For two years, the only time I'd see him was during the weekend, when I'd try to join everyone for dinner. I can now join my family for dinner every single night, and watch those cheesy telenovelas in Channel 2 and 7. I have the time to watch DVDs, surf the net and recently, time to play the piano again!

They say short trips are good for the health, and it did wonders for me! Teehee. After being pressed for time yesterday, I was able to wash my clothes and my beddings, clean my room (vacuum clean, mind you) and iron my clothes. So much accomplishment in a day, eh?

Plan your work and work on your plan.

I have still yet to wait for that one great love. I just need to step back and look at the bigger picture. I know one guy who loves me just as much, and I know He's UP THERE to guide me all the way. I know He will make my dreams come true and give me more than I ever wished for! I am so excited for His great master plan! :)

I got myself a new pair of shoes. Wee. Black suede wedges with silver trimmings. :P

The Best Things in Life (Part 2)

2009-02-16T04:40:00.000+08:00

The trip to Nurture Spa was tops. We had a couples massage or what they call the "Magkasintahan" package. It comes with a free facial, snacks and half day use of the Ifugao hut.

I should have trusted my planner that I shouldn't be getting a massage or else I'd get bruises, but I still went on and had a massage. Teehee. It was blissful if not for the bruises in my buttocks and thighs.

It's the first time that V fixed everything for me. From the itinerary, to the bookings, to the places to see, the massage, everything! I'm sure gonna miss him when he goes to Australia for training, but I'm happy for his career move nonetheless. (He's gonna be back in August anyway.) It feels good spending quality time with the person you care about, and no matter what happens, whatever the future has in store for us, I'd always cherish the time we spent together.

I'm missing V now...

Dear V,

Thank you for...

...waking me up at six o' clock just to make sure I'll be jogging before the sun is up...
...getting my guyabano juice and buying C-Lium fiber to make sure I'd get my fiber requirement for the day...
...reminding me to drink water instead of soda...
...removing the shrimp "skin" in my sinigang na hipon...
...letting me exploit your xPeria and consuming worth 1,500 of your credits in nonesense downloads...
...treating me to a spa and massage...
...making me feel good about myself and the good things about me...
...reminding me about the time and its importance...
...making each day of my life special and making each moment count...
...being a good friend, a good confidante and travel buddy...
...putting my feet back on the ground, and reminding me that I am human and it's okay to make mistakes...

For everything there is to thank you for... thanks for putting up with my bratty self and letting me be myself. I'm gonna miss you V. :P

The Best Things in Life are Free.

2009-02-14T07:35:00.000+08:00

1. I realized that forgetting your camera and phone charger are one of the worst things that could happen to you on a trip. Argh. On second thought, not having the gadgets handy gives me more time to go around and smell the flowers.

2. I have been able to let go of internet for a day (yesterday), wee!

3. It's valentine's day and I just gave a quick long distance call to mom and dad using the hotel landline. (This isn't free, this is going to be part of the checkout bill, I'm sure.) This is the first valentine in my entire life that I'm not spending with the folks.

4. I've been addicted to C-Lium fiber and fresh guyabano juice, I've ordered eight glasses since we got here last night. Vanilla bought me 4 boxes and I'm very happy about it.

5. My brother and I are OKAY now. It was automatic for me last night to wait for the folks to arrive and not abandon him while he was hot with fever. Woo... brotherly love. He told me it's okay for me to go with my vacay, as long as I bring him buko pie when I go home tomorrow.

6. Breakfast in bed is bliss. One of the few things I can't have on a workday.

7. Working on excel sheets give me an instant high. Working on tocino excel sheets make me want to own a business now.

8. It feels good jogging in the morning even if someone forced you to get out of bed at six o' clock. I don't even wake up that early during workdays. Geez. But it felt good. I feel like jogging everyday too.

9. It feels good using someone's phone to blog in multiply. Hahaha... And he's not even mad about it. Thanks to Globe broadband.

10. The best thing I guess is getting an expense-paid vacation with a special person who's been a very good friend ever since.

The day is not over yet. This vacation on its own is one of the most wonderful gifts I've ever received this year! Other details on Monday. :P

Life, Life.

2009-02-12T10:04:00.000+08:00

I've been very busy this week. Here's a rundown of the things I've been doing:

Monday: Work, went home late, fixed the shoe cabinet.

Tuesday: Work, attended VCF seminar, went to Serendra and Highstreet, ate at McDonald's, went home late.

Wednesday: Work, went home early... had dinner with Vanilla at Hidden Tapsi, slept at 11PM.

Thursday: Work, (hopefully going home early)...

Friday: ON LEAVE.

My planner is filled with things to do, and yes, I am so loving it. I got a nice bag from a geologist friends and I'm secretly wishing it could endure the torture that my bags experience from a stuffing-too-much stuff in my handbag disaster.

On a second note, I can't wait to purchase my Guimaras and SG tickets and work on getting my passport ready by this June!

"I'm tired but I'm happy, yeah!"

Just to give you guys a kick off, here's the latest office antic from Leonard!

Here's the best.

The Story of the Brown Contact Lenses

2009-02-05T18:00:00.000+08:00

I promised myself that this year, I have to make changes to my routinary life. The office-house drill is far too boring (after two years, that is).

After nine years of wearing glasses, and three years of wearing clear contact lenses, I decided to use colored contact lenses. Not that my eye color is blue or green, it's actually a lighter shade of brown, it's gorgeous. (A lot of people noticed it, so I think it's pretty cool.)

I am planning a trip for my birthday~ Wee! I can't spill the details yet (keeping my fingers crossed) but I am so excited to travel! Teehee. And that's not even 3 months after my planned trip to SG-KL.My cousin told me the details on how to get there, and I can't wait to tell someone about the great deal! I am going to be one happy camper!

I am starting to get pissed off by snide remarks, really. I am holding my peace, but I am dead serious about putting an end to a repetitive mockery. Lord, help me hold my peace. Let me focus on my goals - trip trip, trip.

The brown contact lenses need to rest for a more fab day tomorrow. :)

Breakfast with the Ex

2009-02-05T05:34:00.000+08:00

I just had a sumptuous breakfast with one of my ex bfs today. Thank God I wasn't late (Duh, we met up at the Starbucks in my building, so there's no reason to be late). It was a nice and candid conversation over a cup of hot chocolate and danish pastry. :) It just made my day. I missed him. I haven't seen him in such a long time. It's not that I don't want to see him, it's just that our schedules don't match. Way back, I was working in Bacoor, roughly 17 kilometers away from where he's working. Hahaha. So there, breakfast, hot drinks and hugs. More than anything else, he was my friend and I wish him well. Hugs Maqui! :) Teehee!

Wishlist for 2009

2009-02-04T11:32:00.000+08:00

1. A Singapore-Malaysia vacation for 7 days.
2. Trip to Sagada, Baguio and Zamboanga.
3. A pink Vaio.
4. A new Sony Ericsson phone.

Working, working on it.

In the middle of changes, some things remain the same

2009-02-04T08:14:00.000+08:00

... just like my love for Mc Donald's.

I was craving for Mc Do nuggets since the start of the year, but I was holding back. I know I shouldn't be eating fried food since I am working on eating more fish as part of my new year's resolution.

But lo and behold, I ate Mc Do's Longganisa breakfast and hashbrown, and took a Mc Do take two for lunch - chicken nuggets and fries! (Mr. Fishy is gonna go crazy!)

Looking back at Gracie's college pictures reminded me of first loves, that will only be part of the "Anna" history.

1. My friends from kindergarten to Grade 1 know me as Florence. My teacher Fely (God bless her soul) told everyone that Anna is such a common name and the kids from Gemille should call me Florence. The name stuck until I transferred to St. Rita, where my classmates would call me Florence instead of Anna.

2. When I transferred to St. Mark a year later, I introduced myself as Anna - since one of my classmate mispronounced Florence --- Forens, that's what he said. The others called me Flores - which sounded like a Filipino surname. So with a high-pitched voice, I told them, "Okay, okay, just call me Anna." That name stuck with me until my first year at work.

3. When I started working in a call center, there are a lot of Anna's mind you. Anna Luisa, Anna Katrina, Anna Maria. I put Anna as my first choice for my phone name and Florence as my last choice, but lo and behold, the only name available for me was Florence. My then officemates would tease me and call me Florence because they know I get irritated when I hear it. (An ex used to call me Florence, and I despised the name after our break-up. 'Nuf said.)

4. When I was growing up, my favorite color was BLUE, not PINK. Yes, my favorite color was blue. I had all sorts of stuff with that color, and in fact when I studied in UP and stayed in a dorm, all my stuff were blue---my old accessory boxes, my hangers, my pail, my toiletry basket, basin, tabo, my rubber shoes--- everything were screaming BLUE. Until I couldn't find the AQUA blue hue to match everything. That started the PINK revolution. Then in one of my Journ classes, my then crush told me that I look better in pink. The rest, they say, is history.

5. I didn't start experimenting on using make-up until I started working. I would only resort to putting on lipgloss and lining my brows. Other than that, I never worked on putting eyeshadow or blush on---I was shit-scared that I'd irritate my cheeks which would result to more break-outs. Now my friends and my sibling would compliment how big my kikay kit looks like and the numerous brushes that I bring with me every single day. I could also copy the make-up looks in magazines. Whew!

6. The moment I started eating vegetables, was the time I started having a huge appetite. I was a picky eater when I was younger, and I hated the tocinos and longganisas because I'd end up with red blotches on my skin. By adding veggies to my 'diet' I was able to appreciate the wonderful world of FOOD.

7. I was never stick/model-thin and that's one thing that will never change. My 'thinnest' state was when I was still in highschool when I'd still be active in all the physical activities like playing table tennis and juggling academic workload. My biggest dream is to be able to don a two-piece bathing suit on my 30th birthday - five more years to work on that dream! :)

8. My face was always round whether I'm medium or XL. I don't plan to have a liposuction on it. I will always have Judy Ann's siopao face. But of course, I can still lose weight like Juday and find my Ryan Agoncillo. Teehee.

9. I will always be talkative. There was never a single day when I wouldn't be in the list of NOISY kids in class. =P It's my natural way of coping.

10. I love to read - from shampoo covers to textbooks, it has been my favorite past time. I was among the first in my college class to buy the prescribed textbook and read it for hours. When I was a kid, my dad would reprimand me for taking so long on fixing my bookshelf because I read the books while cleaning the shelves. Uh-oh.

11. I have a talent for matching stuff - my cabinet hangers, drawers and scrunchie baskets are blue. This compliments my striped bed covers. My bed covers (except the ones bought by my mom) are complimentary colors with each other. I have a pink "Princess" pillow and a pink flannel blanket. Everything else is blue.

12. There was a time when I had 12 pairs of shoes, and I don't repeat a single pair in a week. Now, aside from the fact that it's tedious to go through the match-making everyday, I have to wake up early to join my Dad---limiting my time to re-think about what shoe to wear for the day. I'd pick up the first thing in sight, which are usually blacks or whites.

13. I have always loved singing or listening to music. I was able to sing "Somewhere Out There" before I was two years old. :)

14. My parents' level of seriousness depends on the nickname they call me. Princess = normal day, no big deal. Pets = when they ask a favor from me. Florence = they are fuming mad! :P

15. I started having manicures and pedicures when I was in Grade 6. The boldest colors I wore were metallic royal blue, fire-engine red and neon pink.

16. I have a fascination for school supplies - white pad paper, 0.3 tech pens, mechanical pens, clay erasers, 2B pencils and Orion rulers. I cried for two weeks when my brother lost my Staedler mechanical pen which costs about 150 bucks 9 years ago - that time my allowance was only 50 pesos!

17. I don't eat any other ice cream flavor aside from Vanilla, Coffee, Mocha and Chocolate. Mango and Strawberry are my last options. But if you put a can of Durian ice cream in front of me, I'd gladly eat it without question.

18. I have a thing for 'weird' or local fruits - DURIAN, marang, mangosteen, atis, star apple, sineguelas. I can live for the rest of my life without grapes, orange or apple. I am learning to love them because of health purposes. But other than that, I can leave them alone. :P The best combination for me is the banana + coffee combination.

19. I love peppermint. Whether it's candy, chocolate filling, coffee syrup, or even smokes - I love the minty taste. I also like the scent of chocolate mint body wash and lotion.

20. I will always love Sony products - I still keep my Dad's 1977 Walkman which is still working until now. :)

What are your staple habits and favorites? :)

Busy Bee

2009-02-01T19:42:00.000+08:00

I had dinner with a close friend last Friday at Trinoma. Thanks to the malfunctioning MRT, it took me exactly two hours to get from Ayala to Trinoma when the entire trip should have been done in 30 minutes. Waste of time. Hate it.

I hanged out with one of my best buddies, Phellize at TGI Friday's (MOA) and we had so much fun! Not to mention both of us are wearing pink.We had ice blended coffee and cheesecake at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf and it was yummy!

I bought a nice pink bag (love it!) and some stuff for my sister. I also got a new issue of Cosmo with Angel Locsin and Piolo Pascual on the cover. (Goodness, it should have been Piolo alone...)

Anyhow, I got a new eye candy (wink, wink) and my previous eye candy can rest for a while. I'll definitely post the pictures of this girl-bonding soon. Too bad, Phellize doesn't me to take pictures since I have been teasing her of gaining weight over the years. Hehehe...

They say going out with friends is indeed therapeutic. I couldn't agree more. It was one of the fun-filled days of my life and I hope that next time, Tess would be part of that bonding time together.

I have to get some Zzzzsss... I have to FORCE myself to fall asleep.

***I got a new pair of peepers, and Vanilla said it looks good on me. Yihee. I have a strange feeling that something good is about to happen this year. And that 'something good' has something to do with my perpetually dormant love life. Nyay.

***Phellize told me I may have issues with having a committment, and I believe she is right. I am at this point in my life when I just want to relax and enjoy being single. I don't want to pressure myself of getting past the "finish line" because again, my decision to be "coupled" or get married, will happen at my own pace, in His own time.

There's no rush.

On the contrary, a special someone is a great icing for my already rich chocolate cake.

---

MILESTONES:

I've been succesful in budgeting money and not buying a bar of chocolate every after lunch. Wohoo. The next food that has to go is the extra spoon of rice. Gtg.

An Ode to the Blog

2009-01-30T09:56:00.000+08:00

You have been the witness to my happiness, my frustration, my college life, my working life. You hold the key to my dreams, and the realization of those dreams that I painted while sitting under the trees in the Sunken Garden. Thank you for giving me that opporunity to customize your look and feel. Just when I needed someone to talk to, I just need to hit a few keys and you give me a sudden relief.

I still remember the day when I started telling you about my life. That was the day I met one of the most wonderful men in my life. He was the one who introduced me to you and I'm thankful for him for making our worlds meet. I never thought you existed and learning about you made me excited that time.

You've been there when I was struggling with school and part-time work. You've been there when my wallet was dry and I can't go out with SMB or Red Horse. You've been my sanity checker, you've been a window to my soul.

You hold the key to my aspirations and the countless wishes I have. You have my four-year history and those are things that my human memory cannot hold. You hold the list of guys I dated, my previous relationships and my never-stopping search for 'the one'. Too bad, I can't remember the codes we have for some of those people, and most of the guys whom we talked about no longer exist in the present.

Now that you're turning 5 years old, I cannot wish for more. I know you don't get much visitors (that I'm not sure of), and neither of us are to blame. I love you as you and I hope you'd stay with me in this lifetime.

You have some of my worst grammar lapses, as well as my immature inconsistencies. You will continue to be my sanity gateway. And though I don't talk to you that often like I used to, you will always have a special place in my heart---online and offline.

Thanks for listening to me. Let's continue to dream, to love and to create a beautiful history of a girl who dreamt hard and worked harder.

Talking to you made me heart skip a bit. It was a long journey---four years of tears, dreams and realizations. Thank you for the smiles, the tears. Kudos to another year! Cheers.

The Water Runs Deep

2009-01-23T06:08:00.000+08:00

Since the start of the year, I was able to spend two Fridays with an old friend and spent lots of time outside the house. Two weekends---just talking about the past two years that we missed out.

There's just so many plans I'm really tempted to blog about, but I'd rather not say. I know there's a "pot of gold" at the end of the rainbow, but right now, I guess it's best to leave things the way they are, than be at the end of a losing battle.

High heavens have been testing my patience, spelled with a capital P. If you don't want something/like someone, you will always have a choice---live with the hate, or ignore it. I guess I've tried to work with the latter, and I've been happier.

There's just so much more things to think about than some spilled milk and rotten cheesecakes. There are 6 billion people in the world and if you just do a factorial with 32 different skill sets and personality types, you'd end up with a gazillion of reasons why things work out the WAY YOU DON'T WANT IT TO BE.

Mind your own business, would be the best mantra for the year. And in the time when the gasoline makes a crazy price fluctuation and the iPhones dominate the mobile industry, I guess the silent waters would still run deep.

Friday Shindig

2009-01-18T09:39:00.000+08:00

After sorting out what I'm supposed to do last Friday, kudos to my first unstructured decision:

I went out with an old friend, partied with a new set of people, slept for an hour, then had breakfast with the same 12 people who were still laughing from the whole thinga-majig. It was a fun-filled night, I couldn't believe I did it. I am so proud of myself. I knew I was in good company.

Thanks to the weather, (sarcasm) I was not able to join my officemates in Tagaytay today, and I'm nursing a headache and flu-like symptoms. Where I got it was not a question, since the polluted Makati air was to blame for all the sneezes and the sniffs.

I might go out with an old friend tomorrow, I just hate having colds since it might appear that I am sniffing over something else.

Then I realized, I haven't shed a tear since December last year and I can say that I've been very, very proud of not being a crybaby anymore. Yipee!

I'm so proud to have cut my smoking into half in a span of two weeks. Yohoo! I am getting near my goal of getting out of the habit in time for my 25th birthday.

I should do a countdown of my milestones. This year is going to be a fun year.

Everyone gets hooked...

2009-01-16T14:36:00.000+08:00

... to a special someone that is.

In times like this when the weather is just too cold and someone just needs pure human warmth, I was wondering how it would feel spending time with someone you love, about 30 floors above land level. And both of you would share a single jacket while you have coffee to combat the chilly air.

I hate this feeling of not getting any diversion... or meeting new people. Fudge. I should go out with a different set of people. Get another hobby, go to the gym or even live in a totally different place.

I expect the same kind of boredom until the next weekend. I should go out alone, you know. At least I'm stuck with myself and I'd probably start chitchatting with a complete stranger. The odds, really.

For once in my life, I want to make un-structured decisions.

I guess I'd flip another DVD collection later.

Cool. Literally and figuratively.

Period.

2009-01-13T18:41:00.000+08:00

I should have placed this years ago

Shouldn't have waited that long

I should have put this when you said goodbye

And buried unsent letters

So here's an ode to an erring mark

Of hanging friendships

Unrequited love

Unanswered prayers

Humbling pain and tribulations

Of passion and frustrations

And closures and new chapters

Here's adieu to the old flame

Hearts would bleed

Tears would flow

Numbness nailed the sprawling throes

I should have placed this years ago.

Mental Shoutouts

2009-01-13T17:13:00.000+08:00

1. There are 24 hours in a day: 8 hours for sleeping alone, 2 hours to get dressed and ready, 3 hours for 3 meals (breakfast, lunch and dinner), 3 hours a day to travel to and from work, 8 hours to work. How many hours are left for socializing? Technically speaking, none. Surfing the net at home and doing "domestic duties" are not included. This means that errands to be done on a weekday and unblocked surfing would always have to consume a part of the "sleeping hours".

2. Buying a new phone entails hidden "added" expense. (But really Jay, congratulations on your new iPhone. XD ) This includes new accessories like new phone casing, screen protector and extra stylus. If you're a sucker for original parts like me, expect to spend at least 5k.

3. One has to learn to to figure out how taxes are computed, and what the impact of "tax exemptions" can do in terms of applying for a car loan, or a housing loan. One has to remember that an ITR for BIR 2316 is a legal and binding document, something "stronger" than a company-issued payslip.

4. Working conditions and benefits should be considered as part of one's job perks. This includes being able to sleep (peacefully) at night, social and personal growth and tasks that make one's heart skip a bit but would not (in any point and time imaginable) increase one's blood pressure. "Your sanity, is guaranteed."

5. Not knowing anything about the industry you're into is an asset, if managed properly. In call center terms, you call it "Opportunities for Learning". Not knowing a single thing, makes the topic more exciting, more enticing. As my previous manager would put it, "If you don't know anything, you're like a sponge... you practically absorb everything that is taught to you without hesitation. If molded properly, (in this case, trained well) you are able to understand and explain concepts the way they were taught to you".

6. Celebrating your silver year reminds you that you're not getting any younger: less on the hot pink lipstick and the neon-colored nail polish. Although you can still evade the "eye cream" trend, you are "forced" into buying yourself an eye cream simply because Penelope Cruz' undereye skin looks fresh. You know the magic called Photoshop worked on it to make it look flawless, but you convince yourself you need it anyway.

7. You can never be satisfied with what you have: mobile phones, cameras, clothes and shoes---unless you do not draw the thin line between NEED and WANT. It's just fortunate, and unfortunate, that the dilemma can be solved with a swipe of your silver plastic (or Dad's gold one for that matter).

8. Attaining goals entails a lot of sacrifices. For example, not getting the hassle of running late because of Makati's terrible traffic entails one to wake up early in the morning to join Daddy in the comfortable "schoolbus".

9. You realize that you have way too much pink stuff, and that you're never "you" without it. You are surprised to find a couple of blues, blacks and whites in your closet.

10. If there's a way to make your life a lot easier, here are some "tips":
- Make sure your phone has a power button to it. Better yet, if you can set it on "Home" mode, then better. "Home" mode means decreased ring tone volumes. There must be a reason for the "Sign Out" option in Yahoo Messenger, so we might as well maximize it.
- But things based on "how it can drastically improve your life" as opposed to buying it just because it was the IN thing. Function should always be on top of "fad".

11. Now that this blogging served its purpose (that is, to make the writer sleepy...), I can start yawning my way to my bed.

Cheers!

New Year's Resolution Realization

2009-01-07T14:15:00.000+08:00

I have been trying not to be cross at people, and I have been trying very hard to be patient. So far I have been lucky in not raising my voice whenever I'm upset, and I am working on not being sarcastic.

I have been very lucky enough in having that willpower to curb my smoking cravings, and I am hoping this is all gone once I celebrate my silver year. Wohoo! Cheers.

Realize by Colbie Caillat

2009-01-01T23:41:00.000+08:00

V1: Take time to realize,
That your warmth is
Crashing down on in.
Take time to realize,
That I am on your side
Didn't I, Didn't I tell you.

But I can't spell it out for you,
No it's never gonna be that simple
No I cant spell it out for you

C: If you just realize what I just realized,
Then we'd be perfect for each other
and will never find another
Just realized what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder if
we missed out on each other now.

V2: Take time to realize
Oh-oh I'm on your side
didn't I, didn't I tell you.
Take time to realize
This all can pass you by
Didn't I tell you

But I can't spell it out for you,
no it's never gonna be that simple
no I can't spell it out for you.

C: If you just realized what I just realized
then we'd be perfect for each other
then we'd never find another
Just realized what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder if
we missed out on each other now.

V3: It's not always the same
no it's never the same
if you don't feel it too.
If you meet me half way
If you would meet me half way.
It could be the same for you.

C: If you just realize what I just realized
then we'd be perfect for each other
then we'd never find another
Just realize what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder
Just realize what I just realized

If you just realize what I just realized

OoOoOOo

missed out on each other now
missed out on each other now

Realize, realize
realize, realize

Oh please, spare me from this noontime drama. I don't get why a sane person would play this a million times on the first day of the year. Argh. So emo. Ew. Emo vibes, please get off me.

I opened my multiply, this song played. The neighbor is listening to it like crazy. It's the song I first got when I opened my phone's radio. Holy patatas. I should get some sleep now.

Cheers 2009!

2009-01-01T22:59:00.000+08:00

Since I don't have the habit of making a new year's resolution list, (a new year's resolution is like an apple pie crust... it is made to be broken anyway), I'll try and see if I can come up with ones that are sensible and doable enough to fulfill.

1. Re-learn the art of focus and lessen the multi-tasker attitude. I've multi-tasked since I started working, and this lessens the quality of the work since I am "focusing" on too many things. To solve this dilemma, I would have to get rid of the all in one thinking which means that I should get a phone with very minimal features (or stick with the one I have, a trusty SE K800i) and just buy a separate MP3 player and a game console. I am still contemplating if I should get a PSP. Ho-hum. On second thought, should I get an iPod or a Sony? iPod really tops design but a Sony is a Sony and the sound is crisp and clean. I want to be really sure I'd get the best deal since I intend to keep it as a remembrance.

2. Get busy with other stuff aside from WORK. All work and no play makes Florence a boring girl. I need to spice up my 2009 agenda with at least one night out per month, one charitable activity per month (clean-up, feeding program, the works), once a month visit to a new place/resto/museum, one book/movie per month. Cosmo and Marie Claire does not count as reading material in this case. ;)

3. Live a healthy life. No smoking. Drinking is only limited to once a month. Drinks are limited to no more than 2 beer bottles or 5 cocktail drinks in one sitting. Chicken over pork, fish over beef.

4. Get fit and fab. Jog for at least 20 minutes a day. Try a new sport (wall climbing and bowling excluded). Eat less per meal but increase frequency of food intake.

5. Reinforce good habits and religiously follow through. Continue to get a mani and a pedi every single week. Condition the hair everyday and use a hair mask every week. Drink at least eight glasses of water everyday. (Use a notebook to track.)

6. Use flats when going to work, and change into nice shoes in the office (just for strut purposes). Wearing flats for more than two months made my legs love me more. No more sore ankles and swollen toes. I still love my stilletos, but I guess it makes sense that I should only wear them in the office or during special occasions and not walk in them from the office to the MRT station.

7. Make a list, and stick to it. This includes list of things to do at work, things to do at ome, and list of things to buy at the grocery. This also includes sticking to the alloted budget at ALL times. :)

There goes my list. How about you?

Happy Holidays!

2008-12-27T10:48:00.001+08:00

When I was a kid, I would really get giddy in my pajamas once Christmas time comes. I guess the magic was gone when I was growing as a teenager, when I was not allowed to spend Christmas at a friend's house. When I was in college, Christmas meant no allowance for the entire vacation and as soon as I graduated, I recall that I was among the very few who would talk to my supervisors get a leave just to have the Christmas eve dinner with my family.

Not that I am so excited to eat ham or quezo de bola---I just figured out that since I am a sane human being, spending Christmas with the family is the way to go about it.

This year, by some stroke of luck (and blessing), I have the entire 11 days of vacation all to myself. Eleven days of thinking what to do, eleven precious days of "thinking" about my plans for 2009. Next year would be my "silver" year --- yes, I am turning 25 next year and crossing the "finish line" (the term used by women which refers to a time when they're supposed to be married, in this case, once she reaches 25 years old). I would have to say I am in the process of regrouping modular parts of my life and cleaning up my closet.

And when I say cleaning up, this entails rethinking about the past 8 years of my life spent with friends, family... the past 6 of which molded me into the person I am now...

For the past six years, I learned how to be tough, and how NOT to be a pushover. I learned how to answer back, and how to act like a GIRL at times. I learned how to drink six bottles of RedHorse and not end up drunk, and I also learned how to smoke cigarettes and how not to smoke at our house over the weekend.

This taught me a lot on technical specifications of certain gadgets the same way it taught me how ballet flats can contribute to the entire WALKING experience. And since I'm loving walking the same way I love the color pink, I am giving up smoking to take my walking up to the next notch---jogging.

I want 2009 to be a healthy and beautiful year, and a year of being true to one's emotions. The last time I cried a bucket was last year, sometime in April---I never shed a tear ever since.
I want to feel the sense of being humble and true, and being careless of what other people would think. Enough of too much perception management, aka plasticity. I am done with the first module of the getting over part translating to adding my ex bfs (yes, those with terrible breakups) in my facebook and friendster account. After all, the past defines the present and the present defines the future.

I have to rekindle my dream of having my own family. At this point, I am pretty much "happy" with how things are, although I want something more, having a husband and a kid in tow seems too far-fetched in the future for me. I'd want to go back to dating and keeping my organizer full of "TTDs" aka Things to Do---work, study, exercise and meet new friends.
Seeing my friend Kim and her soon to be hubby Jem happy, makes me all giggly like a teenager. They're so in love, and yet so in control, they'd burst.

I gave my heart away three years ago, and I am still in the process of building new compartments where the huge chunk used to be. I am still filling it with remarkable and lovable people that I've met along the way, and will continue to add more as the years go by.

I've grown a lot calmer after the much needed break (and I know my buddy Leonard would agree with me that I've become more patient with people) and I've been eating seafood since last week only to break the pattern with some slices of ham last Christmas and the penne pasta my mom cooked.

I feel a lot lighter and I sleep a lot longer. My cabinet looks a lot neater and my dresser doesn't look like the mall's beauty counter. I know I still need to make some renovations "in there" and everywhere around me, but I am so excited to greet 09 with an enthusiastic outlook and a very motivated attitude simply because The One up there never gave up on me. He continues to bless me even when I wasn't looking and He blessed me more when I learned how to share my blessings to others.

Happy Holidays!

A racist remark?

2008-12-25T20:33:00.000+08:00

I saw this site, that talks about

Top 10 ideas for how NOT to make a million dollars!

Can someone send me a language specialist who will agree that the "for" word can be removed?

This is the interesting part...

6. Join that money back guaranteed program on the internet that promises to help you set up the coolest web site possible so that you can sell E books that you can outsource to college students in The Philippines to write.

I was furious upon reading this article! So I posted my comment:

Anna Florence said: Your comment is awaiting moderation.

Top 10 ideas for how NOT to make a million dollars!

6. Join that money back guaranteed program on the internet that promises to help you set up the coolest web site possible so that you can sell E books that you can outsource to college students in The Philippines to write.

I just want to comment on this. This remark hits both ways. I don’t know if you are undermining college students in the Philippines and their capacity to write articles.

I don’t think mentioning a country or a certain group of people is necessary to make this article seem alive. I find this remark bordering on being “racist” already.

I am from the Philippines and all I can say is so far, our country’s business process outsourcing industry has boomed simply because aside from our good nature, we speak good English and we are able to process difficult concepts and make it easy for other people to understand.

One’s culture or nationality for that matter, shouldn’t be an icing on an ordinary looking cake.

This is a poorly written or should I say poorly edited article that violates basic rules of grammar by having too many fragments. It’s wordy!

I wonder if the author is writing this based on his own experience. Nyahahaha..

I hope it gets approved for all the world to see. What do you think?

If you want to read the entire article, click here.

Let's comment on this article and get this guy to shape up his [mediocre] writing skills and put his "racist" pen where it's supposed to be.

Wishlist Checklist

2008-12-20T19:27:00.000+08:00

So far, I have been lucky to get gifts in my wishlist like...

a nice gold watch - wish granted, thanks Vanilla! :)
a pink bag from Nine West - I got a black one and am thinking of getting a brown one or a gray one this week... teehee!

the gadgets have to wait... but... Sony and Abenson are on 0% interest... hmmm.... :)

***

I still have to post the pictures from my camera of the PF Christmas party. Sorry guys. I promise to have it ready by Monday... :(

***

Since the company declared December 24 as a company holiday... I was thinking if the Sony repair shop is still open on that date. I need to check on that since I am thinking of having my recorder and my tripod fixed and for someone to check on my cam's LCD.

***

Reading Robert Kiyosaki's Rich Dad, Poor Dad inspired me to do more and to think of what to do about my dreams and my "passions"...

All I can say is... GO GIRL! :) My hands for 2009 are already full.

Realizations

2008-12-17T04:13:00.000+08:00

Three days of fresh air brought me thinking about my life. Yes, my life. It was all about reflecting on what I really want to do for the next year, what I want to accomplish and how I am going to accomplish all those things. I can't really tell what are those.. but I definitely have a long list. :)

Vanilla got me two books --- Rich Dad, Poor Dad and A Girl's Guide Everything about Heartache (the lead character's name is Anna, and he calls me Anna, geez) which got me busy for the entire time he was working on "other" things. He also got me a gold watch which looks uberly cute. :)

Last Saturday, I spent the entire day cleaning my room. Not that my room is not clean... I just had to BURN old letters, old pictures and old stuff from ex boyfriends (especially those whose break-ups were nasty). I have been keeping those for more than 7 years now, and I've been successful in accumulating junk, thank you. I haven't worked on the other half of the pile, and I am more than determined to clean up EVERYTHING in time for Christmas.

That should be a start. Now I know who I am keeping, and who has to go.

Now I know how it feels like to be a domesticated gf. The feeling is good---being treated like a queen, lying around doing NOTHING except BREATHE and curling up in bed like a poor little girl. I lost my appetite since Monday, and I have been trying ever since. Shrimp tastes bland and the catfish doesn't appeal that much to me. The lack of appetite has been there ever since the puking began. Argh. How gross is that.

At the end of our getaway, I still said no. No to a beautiful future being his wife, no to a beautiful future bearing his kids, and no to a beautiful future of doing his business' inventory.
Vanilla was a made man, and I have still yet to find myself.

Ed once told me, "When I said I do (to his wife), I meant it."

I want my "I do" to be like that. True and unconditional.

I wouldn't want any of my future kids seeing me drunk as a skunk on the sofa, with their mommy's hair entangled in a twig. I don't want my future husband cleaning after my mess on the floor simply because I "forgot" where the sink is.

I want to be a responsible mom in the future, and what I need right now are baby steps to make that happen. I need to learn how to sew (aside from buttons and hooks). I have to brush up on my cooking skills (I can only cook a couple of meals...). I have to learn how to clean the house in an hour... and all those other DOMESTIC duties. Being a HOMEMAKER is one helluva job! I wonder how my mom does it... she's simply terrific...

Anyhow.. I gotta get off temptation island.

My momma and I need to go shopping with this stack of gift cards...

What to do on a COLD Monday Morning

2008-12-15T06:58:00.000+08:00

1. Nurse a cold from last week's party.

2. Find your stuff on the floor that you "unconciously" dropped the night before.

3. Eat a sumptous breakfast while someone is out there "sweating" the calories from last night's beer-get-your-ex-drunk session.

4. Wait for your ex while you chat the day away in your dream phone (and he happens to have one).

5. Make this day seem right with another special guy, though you intended to be with someone else.

***

Sometimes, you just have to make the most out of the present, even if it's not the way you "planned" it to be... It wouldn't hurt to have both a hot guy with a nice butt and a gold watch in tow.

Updates...

2008-12-13T19:02:00.000+08:00

Mocha is sick and stuck in the hospital. Haven't talked to him since Friday last week. I only found out about his condition through one of his officemates. Sadness. Major.

***

We already had our company Christmas party last night at The Cav. It was a date to remember since everyone was dressed up---Hollywood style! I won't tell you all the details but the pictures will tell it all... Wait until I post shots from the parteh...

***

00:03:69

2008-12-03T13:55:00.000+08:00

All it took was three minutes and 69 seconds.

Mocha, mocha.

"I can't wait to see you," he said.

"I can't wait to see you too," she replied.

"I love you so much," he said.

"I love you too," she said whispering.

Each day is a blessing. And she feels blessed more and more each day. This is not something she wished for and she never imagined. But I guess, the princess was already set to be swept off her feet.

Goodnight Mocha.

2008-12-02T19:05:00.000+08:00

Thanks for inspiring me to be a better person everyday. Good morning! :)

"Mahal Kita ng Bonggang Bongga."

2008-12-01T18:29:00.000+08:00

Love is in the South East Asian Air.

After spending almost the entire day sleeping, I am having a hard time sleeping NOW so that I could wake up at 5:00 am tomorrow.I don't know if this is because my mind is off to faraway love land, or I am just so rejuvinated that my cells scream of "activity please".

I got offline messages from one very special person...

Mocha, I can't wait! :)

Let the countdown begin.

I am still keeping my fingers crossed.

Thank you Lord for another day. Thank you for giving me another day to appreciate what I have and for showering me with blessings in small and huge packages. Thank you for my family, my friends, my officemates, my job. Thank you for the friendships and the love around me. Lastly, thank you for Mocha, whose wit and humor continues to amuse me each day.

And to Mocha, who might be reading my blog (Mocha, you know who you are... TT that is...). even if you don't understand this, I'd like to say... "Mahal kita ng bonggang bongga."

Ask me what it means when you get here. Yipee! Gotta rest my peepers. Ciao!

Two for the Road

2008-11-28T19:52:00.001+08:00

I had a tickets for free admission to the movies at Glorietta. {This is the complimentary pass that I got when I watched Quantum of Solace.) I was feeling really bad today and I had to go to the dentist tomorrow morning so I just decided to spend my Friday night at home. Lo and behold, I saw the complimentary pass which is only valid until the end of the month.

Since I invited Youri days back to watch a movie, I decided that I should go with her. :) Anyways, when we got to the ticket counter, they said the admission passes are only valid for Filipino movies, so we chose "One True Love" starring Marian Rivera and DingDong Dantes.

Both lead stars stunned me because they played their roles so well. (Not to mention that Iza Calzado's character is also very, very well-portrayed.) It was a timely movie, since I was swearing I'd be a man-hater for the entire month of December and I kinda picked up the go-getter-I-don't-need-a-man kind of attitude. It's basically about someone's one true love. Cheesy but it did stimulate my tear ducts...

It's a great movie and I think they should make more movies just like this. So typical Filipino boy-meets-girl movie, but it makes you wonder why giving love a second chance is worth the try. ;P

***

Youri treated me out to dinner and She treated everyone in the office to pizza! Yahoo! You know food is an offer that I don't refuse. :)

***

As if by any sheer of luck, fate, destiny or whatever you call it, I got two missed calls in my two phones, coming from a person whose initials are two T's and I only knew about आईटी ऐxactly two hours after he called! Weird but true! It was mocha. He said he was hospitalized for two days and he just felt he should call me.

I feel bad because I know i was really bitchy about not being able to talk to him. I should have been more considerate. Oh well, that's a learning point. Glad my mocha is okay now. I really miss him and I hope to chat with him soon...

Forgive and forget. :)

Dinner and the morning after.

2008-11-28T06:41:00.000+08:00

I had dinner with Luanne, Michael and Youri at Gerry's Grill last night and it was FUN! I enjoyed eating "gulay"! Their pakbet was yummy.

Anyways, I can't recall if it was during the time going there or the walk going back when someone mentioned something about me and "mocha".

"Sometimes it's better to leave broken glass than try to hurt yourself to fix it."

*Half-day ako ngayon, at walang dapat sisihin kundi ang chakang boylet na mabagal lumabas sa elevator. Argh!

Wishlist for 2008!

2008-11-27T14:13:00.000+08:00

These are the things that I'd want for myself:

a Sony PSP (black)
a new phone (with WiFi and compatible to use with Skype)
a pink Sony Vaio
a black classic iPod
a nice gold watch

Nike rubber shoes
Alice crocs (black)
knee-high boots
a new vegan kabuki brush
a pair of Havaianas
a bottle of perfume
a pink bag from Nine West
a pair of pink pumps from Janylin

Honestly, I just want to be with my family this Christmas. And may God continue to bless me more and my family not only today but in the years to come. Amen.

Did I include Gold's gym membership as well? :)

*It's useless wishing for a MIA mocha. Pfft. As I always say... I've moved on.

My Coffee.

2008-11-25T14:26:00.000+08:00

I'd like a venti black coffee. Make that dark, very dark. I've had a long day. So long, I could not sleep.

Missing Mocha.

2008-11-24T15:09:00.000+08:00

I miss mocha.

I miss T.

With a tired body and tired eyes to boot, I am still missing him.

Not even shopping money can compensate for the momentary longing.

This is not good. I am falling into the booby trap of a woman in love. (Oh, and it has to be labelled as the 'booby trap').

44 seconds and the line was cut. Argh. I hate the phone connection!

My Strawberry Mocha weekend.

2008-11-24T02:30:00.000+08:00

I spent the entire Saturday chatting with T, checking my mail, blogging, checking my mail again, creating T's itinerary and chatting with T again. I feel like a domesticated girlfriend, ugh. Oh yeah, we haven't defined that---yet. But since I like traveling, I created a whipped from scratch itinerary in no time. He was thrilled.

I spent my day yesterday doing my laundry (washing my bed sheets, thank God for Tide with dirt magnets), attending mass and chatting with T again. It was a four to five hour chat/talk/webcam session and we're both happy. The wonders of technology, so to speak.

We both enjoyed this feature in YM (IMvironment) using the Crayola doodle feature. We made a lot of designs and we feel like we're 5 year old kids. Talk about an interactive bonding session! I'll definitely post our creations soon. :)

I got to talk to him minutes after I logged out from YM and it sure was the "goodnight, love you" without-end-saga. Hay. Love and all it inanities. You can't just get enough of each other and 24 hours is not enough to talk about the pink and brown combination of just about anything. You like pink, he likes brown. You're Asian, he's African-American. Despite different backgrounds and different fields of studies, you click and you can't define why. You talk and talk about anything and everything under the sun and while you doodle his name away, he's juggling between answering calls on his mobile and chatting with his "honey".

You amaze him on how you can pretty much understand every American jargon there is and how he's so concerned about you not understanding the "aights" and "Joe's" of what he's trying to say. And though you're thrilled to know that he's spending Christmas in the US after his brief trip to the Philippines, both of you can't help but wish that the next Christmas should be spent with each other.

You amuse him with your younger brother telling him he looks like Chris Brown, and he can't help but laugh a lot everytime you coerce him to try videoke when he visits. You start writing stuff while he's advising you to make plans on getting a passport and a visit visa to the US

A day is not enough to tell each other how thankful you are to have found each other and that you're looking forward to seeing each other in a couple of weeks.

I only had three hours of sleep but I know I had the sweetest smile on my lips as soon as I hit the sheets.

What a strawberry mocha weekend. I should smile more just like I did more often.

What would you do...

2008-11-23T20:03:00.000+08:00

... if someone loves you just the way you are?

... if someone wants you to live with him a thousand miles away from home?

... if someone asks you to be his wife?

I seriously don't know the answer.

I am thrilled. I am shocked. I am scared. I am happy. I am excited.

I have to think this over even if it means I have to count the strands of my kabuki brush a million times. It's not everyday when the person you love asks you that question, right?

The last time I said "No, I can't", the guy was outside the door in the next 5 minutes.

I am going to do it right this time.

A Dateless Friday Night

2008-11-21T14:21:00.000+08:00

C: Can we have coffee later?

F: No.

C: Why? Do you have plans already?

F: No, none at the moment.

C: Why don't you go out with me?

F: I just don't feel like it. Tomorrow's going to be a big day, I am going to do my laundry.

C: It will only take 2 hours, I promise. I just need to see you, please.

F: I'm sorry. I was stressed the entire week and I need to sleep early.

C: Alright. Can I visit you instead?

F: You can't. I can't sleep if you'll visit.

C: Please?

F: I don't want to see you now, or anyone for that matter. Today I am dating myself and I want to feel the warmth of my comforters.

C: Please, Florence???

F: C---- you should know how to read between the lines. I want to be alone.

C: I want to be with you.

F: I want to be alone. Alone = without anyone. Thank you C---- have a great night.

C: ....

Oh puhleeze. I am not your typical girl who will wait for you to call. I need to have a "me" time.

Argh.

A repost. To the Girls who used to be his number ONE.

2008-11-21T05:12:00.001+08:00

The ones who waited all night for him to call, only to check your cellphone the next morning and be disappointed... The ones who made it through that bitter break up, dried your own tears, and moved on with your life, only to have him walk back in it months later like nothing ever happened... Those of you who cried on the first day you talked again because you knew exactly where this phone call was going... The ones who listened to him say, "I only want to be your friend", one day, then listened to him say that he loves and misses you, and the next when he doesn't want to be anything at all. Here's to the ones that took him back, hoping that maybe this time, he was different, hoping that maybe people really do change...

We listened to our friends tell us that we were stupid for even thinking about giving him another chance, got crap from our parents, and even snuck around to see him even for a while. We went through the great stage with no fights all over again. We started this out thinking it would be just friends, and ended up falling in love with him again. We wanted nothing more in the world than to hear him tell us he loved us too, that even though things were bad in the past, they would be different this time. And when we finally heard it, it was like we were dreaming. This is for us.

Here's to the ones who believed what he said, sat around all over again waiting for a phone call that might come in a few hours, or a few days. Here's for the tears cried and dried all over again. We wanted so desperately to believe that he was really busy, he couldn't possibly call us at that moment, or even that he fell asleep early. We trained ourselves to believe the lies because we wanted to believe we had found the one for us. We learned to SETTLE for someone who didn't treat us the way we should be treated.

Here's for the ones who did their hair and make up and put on their prettiest everything, only to hear him say that he couldn't see us today. The ones who never believed it when people told us there might be someone else. We just couldn't believe that he could do this to us again.

This is for those great girls, who loved him more than words can say, and took him back no matter what happened last time because they couldn't bear to look back on their lives one day and wonder "what if".

This is for the girls that stayed up all night long listening to him whine about an ex girlfriend who cheated on him, and cried during the entire conversation. The ones who hoped he would realize that he deserved better, that he deserved us.

When he said that he loved you, but he was in love with her, he didn't mean it.

This is for the ones that held on to something that was never there to begin with.

This is for us girls, who somehow managed to get him to forget about her, and get him to tell us that he was in love with us again, only to have him tell us three weeks later that "things were going too fast, I'm just not ready." or maybe, "You're just not the one for me." (Then maybe later on find out he has a damn girlfriend already.)

Here's to the girls who couldn't cry to their friends because of how stupid they felt.

The ones who held it all in when things came crumbling to pieces again. This is for the ones who couldn't bear to even tell their mom what was going on, for fear of an "I told you so."

The ones that could just TELL that they had made a mistake ever allowing him into their hearts, their beds, and their dreams again.

We knew that we deserved better the entire time, that we deserved a guy who would call when he said he was going to, one that would come see us when ever he got the chance, one that would really care about us. We just wanted the one that we loved like that.

Here's for the ones that FINALLY realized that he never gave one thought about them.

Here's for the time that he took to waste, breaking your heart ... again.

This is for those days spent trying to hold back the tears, and the tears that turned into anger, then disappointment.

Here's for us girls who finally realized that we deserve better.

This is for those confusing days, when you miss him,and want nothing more than to hear his voice, or feel his arms around your waist.

Stay strong, and remember that relationships are like broken glass, sometimes it's better to leave it alone rather than try to put the pieces back together and get hurt all over again.

Remember the times you cried, and how long it took you to even be able to look at another guy like that.

When your song comes on the radio, turn the station.
When the day comes that he realizes what a mistake he made and tries calling, turn your phone off.

When he tries coming to your house, don't answer the door.
Think of all the broken promises, and the lies, the manipulation and the tears, the wasted moments and staying up all night wondering where the HELL he was.

Think of how your heart used to jump when your phone would vibrate in the middle of the night, and how it fell to your stomach when you saw it wasn't him, and realized that once again, he hadn't called when he said he was going to.

One day, you'll find a guy who's worth all the tears, but he won't make you cry. You may think that you'll never care about someone like you did that guy that you always ran back to, but you will.

It's gonna hurt like hell, and it's going to need time to heal, but the point is, it will heal.

***Thanks to Congarage Sale for posting this.

Not a Very Good Day...

2008-11-19T18:17:00.000+08:00

I finally got the courage to visit the doctor this afternoon. She was very nice and accommodating and she asked questions casually. I love this doctor.

Thanks to her I found out that the previous findings are not correct. What a sigh of relief.

I am not having a great day until this very minute. Someone just kept on dropping my calls when he was the one who told me to call him. Argh. I've been trying to convince myself that he is busy with work. I better catch some Zzzzsss... I am going to have a long day tomorrow.

***

One more week and it's payday. Wohoo. The banks must be very thrilled.

***

Happy Birthday Grace! :)

Sick.

2008-11-19T06:52:00.000+08:00

I was not able to go to the office today since I am on a painful red flag day. Sighs. This thing did not happen to me for the past 3 years. Sighs. Getting sick is a wake-up call of my I-couldn't-care-less, I'm-young life style and admittedly, it sucks.

Now that I only drink socially and the yosi tastes like a piece of paper, I have to stop and the stopping starts today. I realized that I could live without it since the thought of my mom and dad seeing me does convince me not to smoke inside the house.

I haven't eaten a morsel since 8:00 pm last night and I feel really, really sick.

***

The house looks so Christmas-y today, thanks to my mom who patiently decorated the Christmas tree. I could see red balls all over the place. Cool. Christmas really is for children and children at heart like me. I was even thinking of wrapping gifts from myself and putting in under the Christmas tree. :) Hahahahah... I have to think of unique gifts for my family...

***

Since I don't have anything to do except endure this painful experience, I am looking for places that my friend and I could visit during his two-week trip to the Philippines. Playing tour guide is never easy. Think Filipino without Mc Donald's, Starbucks and taking a cab. Whew.

I was thinking what to give him as a remembrance and it's hard! Leonard suggested that I give him a Philippine-inspired shirt instead which is a brilliant idea! I dunno if he'll like a barong, but that's also a good option. :)

Anyhow, I have to go to the mall to grab a bite since my tummy is acting up. Then I could go and see a doctor and go home so I could catch Tommy online at around 5:00 pm. Sounds like a plan.

I should start moving now.